Kids Say the Darndest Things

[AllisonAmy]

LOL...Ya gotta love the perspective of children!

They're so funny; they crack me up all of the time.

 

[Darth Cruel]

In a moment of pathetic parenting, I slipped and referred to a butt as a "**** chute". My kids fell out laughing and now...months later...I still can not dissuade them from using the term.

Edit - the filtered word rhymes with "snoop" not "spit".

 

[Username]

Should have called it a snoop chute.
That's great. How old are the kids?

 

[Darth Cruel]

Should have called it a snoop chute.
That's great. How old are the kids?

14, 12, and 9.


At least they don't do it when it might be embarassing for me...at least, they haven't yet.

 

[Username]

14, 12, and 9.


At least they don't do it when it might be embarassing for me...at least, they haven't yet.

I am using different versions, but you'll get the gist.
To be fair the "snoop-chute" sounding one sounds better and a lot nicer than the "sit-chute" one.
I reckon if anyone heard your kids say it, it won't be that bad.
They'd probably laugh. I know i would. If your kids said that in front of me, i'd ask: "Where did you hear that about?"
And likely, they'd say: "Dad fell down and said: I think i bust my snoop-chute"
That's bound to get a laugh.

 

[barryo]

In a moment of pathetic parenting, I slipped and referred to a butt as a "**** chute". My kids fell out laughing and now...months later...I still can not dissuade them from using the term.

Edit - the filtered word rhymes with "snoop" not "spit".

had a similar mishap with my grandaughter referring to owls as hooters...(dumb & dumber moment...)......we were in the lowes garden department and she saw some garden statues and yep a few were owls to which she rather loudly exclaims "look poppa..HOOTERS!!!!!".........i laughed, the people around us laughed,........the wife?..........mortified...........

 

[devilof76]

My nephew's newest word is girl.

He has the Imaginext Catwoman and that's what he calls her. My sister told me that sometimes, you can get 'Catgirl' out of him, but I haven't heard it yet.

 

[toylion]

Saw my 5 year old granddaughter Jaylene this weekend. Haven't seen her for at least a month. She told me she missed me. The most beautiful words I've ever heard.

"I miss you Grandpa."

Lived with her and my Daughter for over four years.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Saw my 5 year old granddaughter Jaylene this weekend. Haven't seen her for at least a month. She told me she missed me. The most beautiful words I've ever heard.

"I miss you Grandpa."

Lived with her and my Daughter for over four years.

Holy moly...no grandkids yet...but I know what that kind of thing does to a man's heart.

 

[crows]

this seemed like the appropriate place for these.

I have to say, this really freaked the hell out of me. Do kids see ghosts or something? what the hell this creep me out

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jenlewis/the-creepiest-things-a-kid-has-said-about-an-imaginary-fr

 

[Uncanny Web-Slinger]

Stayed at my Sisters and niece and nephews for Xmas.

My neice wanted to come down stairs and the child gate was locked, she kept saying to her brother "The gate says no"

When she came down i pretended i was still asleep as i was still really tired and she went back up and said to her brother "Uncle Mark is asleep. wake him up!"

 

[AllisonAmy]

"Good times"...says the seven year old, looking at her preschool class picture.

 

[Lejuan]

"Good times"...says the seven year old, looking at her preschool class picture.

 

[Nuka Cola Kidd]

this seemed like the appropriate place for these.

I have to say, this really freaked the hell out of me. Do kids see ghosts or something? what the hell this creep me out

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jenlewis/the-creepiest-things-a-kid-has-said-about-an-imaginary-fr

 

[Lejuan]

A story my mate told me the other night:

"I walked into our bathroom and there's Josie (3) standing there with her hand awkwardly behind her back. I turn her around and see that she has my toothbrush up her arse - right up there, bristles-first. My cry of "Josie, get that toothbrush out of there!" brings Kayla (7) running into the bathroom to see what's up. When I tell her, "Josie's put a toothbrush up her bum!", Kayla says, "Oh, she does that all the time". And then it all made sense why Kayla had been asking for a new toothbrush every week for the past two months."

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

 

[AllisonAmy]

"Let's go chop down a tree."

 

[Xenoburger_]

A kid at my 5-year-old cousin's daycare was talking about how he got to ride a horse, and went to Six Flags Over Texas. My cousin, trying to one-up him, replied with something along the lines of "Well I rode a cow!" and "I went to Eight Flags Over Texas!".