So, now that the movie is out, How would YOU have done the flick?

[Buttmunch]

I'd bring Sideshow aboard to design the costumes first of all. A nice mix of modern, classic, and realistic interpretations.

 

[Kibishii]

Make sure Zartan turns blue when submerged under water in order to stay true to the toys and keep the fan boys happy and quiet.

Ahh, yet another post that got me to laugh out loud.

 

[thenammagazine]

Ahh, yet another post that got me to laugh out loud.

As a fan of the movie, he can't help it.

 

[devilof76]

- Characters with histories based on the filecards, and appearances based on the action figures, undated for modern warfare.

- No characters before 1986.

- Hama writes screenplay.

- Ridley Scott directs. Sergio Leone would be the best option, but I'm trying to be realistic.

- overall effect is a PRETENTIOUS film where the Joe vs. Cobra universe is taken SERIOUSLY

- no origin stories; this starts in the middle of everything. Like The Iliad.

- casting? I'm sure I could find a better cast walking down the street than the tools they found for "the #1 movie in America". And I live in Maine.

 

[thenammagazine]

Why not just develop the original mini series into something a bit more believable? Nobody's really taken exception to the characters that were used in ROC, just what they did to them and the toilet paper that was the script.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero
This five-part pilot mini-series was alternately aired under the title "The MASS Device" during the series' syndication. Cobra steals an experimental teleportation unit, known as the MASS device, which has the ability to transport matter to any global location, using a satellite to relay the teleportation beam. G.I. Joe must stop Cobra by creating a MASS system of their own, but first they'll need to gather the three rare elements that power the device, which consist of radioactive crystals, heavy water found in the depths of the ocean, and fragments from a giant meteorite. The elements are located in three different environments; thus, the story is structured in a way that showcases the Joes and their different specialties.

I don't think it'd be that hard to take the above scenario and spin it into something less cheesy than the cartoon. Hell, if they did it for Bond, they can do it for Joe.

 

[BuddyGus]

Preproduction…

I’d hand my wardrobe/costume designers this book, as well as my Order of Battle issues and tell them to make me proud.

The prop guys would be issued scores of oldschool vehicle blueprints and even some actual ARAH vehicles to get a feel for the individual parts, etc.

Scriptwise I’d want to sit down with Hamma and express how I want a story that could take place alongside the original comic, with references to it of course.

The actual film…

The first few minutes or so would be a shot for shot live action remake of the ’87 Joe movie opening. Everything from Claw gliders to Trouble Bubbles to to the CG punching out the video camera. This would probably be the most you’d see of Duke as a ‘main’ character at least. The music would be covered by a new artist. That’d be about the only reference I’d make to the cartoon. I don’t care who you are, oldschool fan or just a Friday night movie-goer, after that setup you’d be mine for the two and a half hours.

Opening scene would definitely be Clutch and Breaker cruising along in the vamp set to hard 80’s/70’s rock like Areosmith or AC/DC. At first it would seem like a joyride of sorts until they come over a hill where the camera would pan out to reveal a goodsize battle involving several Hiss tanks.

Hawk would be in the heat of it, blonde hair and decked out in BDU pants and a bomber jacket barking orders and taking out Vipers with his M-16 as they approach. Beachhead would be leading a ground assault consisting of Falcon, Rock & Roll, Roadblock (NOT Heavy Duty), and Dusty alongside Flint’s team of Bazooka, Footlloose, Ladyjaye, and Gung-Ho. Cut to Doc bandaging up a wounded Quick Kick wincing “One of these you’re gonna get us both killed!”.

Cut to Ace in the Skystriker tearing through a slew of Rattler’s trying to find the one Wild Weasle is flying (it’d have red trim/details). Ace realizes that there’s a pair of Mambas on his tail and he’s trying dodge enemy fire when suddenly one is struck by a missle causing it to collide into the other, both explode. There’s a loud “Ye-Haw!” on the intercom (a subtle yet obvious Star Wars/Han Solo nod) as Wild Bill, w/ Airborne, brings the locust up and helps cut through the enemy barrage of jets and helicopters.


That’s jist of my opening sequence, was this thread for ^^^^s and giggles or were you being serious?

YOU"RE HIRED!!!!!

Oh Wait, I don't own a movie company. Sadly I only possess common sense.

 

[creature4000]

Why not just develop the original mini series into something a bit more believable? Nobody's really taken exception to the characters that were used in ROC, just what they did to them and the toilet paper that was the script.


I don't think it'd be that hard to take the above scenario and spin it into something less cheesy than the cartoon. Hell, if they did it for Bond, they can do it for Joe.

exactly... these are good stories!!

I actually believe that with the amount of money they spent on the film.. anyone here (except fans of ROC) could make a good GiJOE flick!

 

[CelticPredator]

I kinda wanted to do a faithful Joe movie....I dont know why....maybe I just want to see a Hooded Commander running around.

 

[karamazov80]

I think they should take that episode where the military-hating, liberal scientist turned out to be evil terrorist Baroness in disguise, and make that into a movie. Then the sequel could do the one where assistant to the military-hating, liberal investigative journalist turned out to be evil terrorist Baroness in disguise.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

tell everyone to quit crying about it...its a kids movie. what's done is done.

 

[thenammagazine]

tell everyone to quit crying about it...its a kids movie. what's done is done.

You're absolutely right, it was PG-13. Because movies like Scream, Terminator Salvation, The Dark Knight, Final Destination and The Grudge, you know, those other PG-13 "kids movies" are so family oriented too.

 

[Kuzeh]

So, now that the movie is out, How would YOU have done the flick?

 

[DinoLast]

I wouldn't change anything because it's making a ton of money, and selling loads of toys.
That's why HASBRO allowed it to be made in the first place.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

:emperor

You're absolutely right, it was PG-13. Because movies like Scream, Terminator Salvation, The Dark Knight, Final Destination and The Grudge, you know, those other PG-13 "kids movies" are so family oriented too.

who brought those into the conversation? i'm just saying if you don't like it, get over it. i'll certainly dismiss it while i'm going to see district 9.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

I wouldn't change anything because it's making a ton of money, and selling loads of toys.
That's why HASBRO allowed it to be made in the first place.

^^^ ding ding!! hasbro won't care what the 40 year old virgins are whining about because they banked money off of it and are probably hoping it brought in a new generation of customers.

 

[thenammagazine]

:emperor
who brought those into the conversation? i'm just saying if you don't like it, get over it. i'll certainly dismiss it while i'm going to see district 9.

Then kindly dismiss it and be on your way. You're the one who said it was a "kids flick." I simply compared it to other films that shared the same rating which would suggest that the powers that be don't agree with your statement.

 

[Khev]

I think all future movie adaptations should star Marlon Wayans and stray as far from the source material as humanly possible. As long as the owner of the property sells toys then I'm happy. And if anyone whines about it then by golly I'll whine about them.

 

[thenammagazine]

I think all future movie adaptations should star Marlon Wayans and stray as far from the source material as humanly possible. As long as the owner of the property sells toys then I'm happy. And if anyone whines about it then by golly I'll whine about them.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

Then kindly dismiss it and be on your way. You're the one who said it was a "kids flick." I simply compared it to other films that shared the same rating which would suggest that the powers that be don't agree with your statement.

lol... i see what point you're getting at, but if you think GI Joe is anything other than a kids movie you need help. and Scream / Final Destination / Terminator Salvation are anything but kids movies, they might share the same rating, but i don't these movies should have PG13.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

I think all future movie adaptations should star Marlon Wayans and stray as far from the source material as humanly possible. As long as the owner of the property sells toys then I'm happy. And if anyone whines about it then by golly I'll whine about them.

awesome! i think they should just randomly insert parts from the animated movie to see if anyone notices. it'll probably make it more entertaining.