I Found the Cure to Obsessive Collecting

[wHySoSeRiOuS203]

A guy who will "cuddle" in bed is more romantic than a lot of guys imo.

agreed

 

[Shropt]

There's nothing I can add that hasn't been said. Well, one thing. You are definitely married right now and don't know it. The good thing though is she feels this way now you can both break it off before lawyers need to get involved.

 

[Deckard]

I think you may need to consider that shes telling you that because she doesn't want to hurt you more or sees your having a hard time coping with it.

I don't see how anyone can just declare theyre not going to date anyone for a certain amount of years. It just doesn't work that way.

Just don't hold out false hope that in a week or two your just gonna be back togeather. Once a girl stops liking you its over. Especially if she's leaving to do something else in another place, she's changing dramaticly and doesn't see you in her future from the way I've read it. Shes going to be meeting alot of new people and I guarentee she'll be lonely and looking for love, don't just sit on your ass waiting to find out the hard way, but I don't think just running out and dating is right either. You need to take a break for a little while until you really feel ready again, and in the meantime, I still think that you need to get out of there, your only going to keep hurting everyday your with her.

 

[BadMoon]

Get dumped. I just was, by my gf of 5 years. Suddenly she feels she no longer has feelings for me, like we're already married and lost the romantic spark. Long story short we still see each other every day and live together/sleep in the same bed, just no hanky panky. We are best friends and I cannot live without her in my life. Honestly, things aren't really that different than they were when we were a couple, except I break down every once and a while when we're watching TV because I remember a happy memory or something. Anyway, I have been so depressed over this I have felt no need to collect or buy anything. I know this may "fade" but seeing as I am going to live with my ex gf until she leaves for Graduate school in September, I know the depression will not go away. I am kind of happy and sad at the same time because I know I need to save money and this will help, but it still sucks. It's like a part of me is gone. I'm 25 BTW, so I know I am still young but my ex is the only friend I really have. Anyway this may take me out the the hobby for good.

. Dude not to be a ____ bu you need to kick her ass out! How are you supposed to start the healing process with her around? Say sorry you feel that way. You have to gtfo.

 

[wHySoSeRiOuS203]

again I say move on man.

 

[Sonic509]

. Dude not to be a ____ bu you need to kick her ass out! How are you supposed to start the healing process with her around? Say sorry you feel that way. You have to gtfo.

I think she's using you for a place to stay, before she leaves... kick her out...

 

[LChinoz]

There's nothing I can add that hasn't been said. Well, one thing. You are definitely married right now and don't know it. The good thing though is she feels this way now you can both break it off before lawyers need to get involved.

I agree we were already pseudo-married. But honestly once she is able to travel and live in NYC (where she is going to school) I wouldn't rule out us getting back together again. My friend always tells me I need to change it up, and being separated might just be the best game changer we could ask for. She is so beautiful and I said some hurtful things when she said she doesn't have feelings for me, things that weren't true but I just wanted to hurt her like I was hurt. For that I feel like a real a-hole. We talked and cried and figured if we were friends how would it really change things. The answer was not that much. I am just glad we are able to still be together as friends because I have the most fun with her.

 

[tbay]

Ever thought of couples counseling? Maybe there's a way to make it work and get both of your needs met. 5 years is a lot of time to throw away, but if she's not willing to try you really should cut contact with her because it will be really painful when you find out she has met someone else.

 

[galactiboy]

Do not take this the wrong way, but you need to end this.

You are now stuck in a quasi-relationship in which your ex-partner's needs are still being met, but you are getting table scraps to meet yours.

I know it seems almost impossible to do, but if the relationship is over you need to treat it as such. Which means:

1) No sleeping in the same bed/cuddling
2) No deep emotionally supportive, etc. conversations
3) If you have to live together, fine... but create your own separate places
4) Make sure you start spending time with other people, if you don't have friends go make some
5) Don't pretend the relationship is still going strong. She ended it, time to move on.
6) You need to establish strong, clear post-relationship boundaries to keep stuff from getting messy.

I've seen stuff like this time and time again, and my prediction is you will pull this band-aid off as slowly as you can. Don't drag out the inevitable, pull it off and be done with it.

Worst thing that can happen here is that you hold on until September and then are crushed and alone with she leaves for graduate school.

 

[Deckard]

. Dude not to be a ____ bu you need to kick her ass out! How are you supposed to start the healing process with her around? Say sorry you feel that way. You have to gtfo.

Exactly, your going to wait until she leaves, realise you wasted the whole summer, and be even more miserable longer. Don't get all emotional and drastic, try and think it through.

 

[Maglor]

You cuddle and cry!


She doesn't know what she has!

 

[Fives]

if she's the one with the problem she can leave dude and imho, never ever give up doing what you like, in your case collecting. you may end up regretting you gave something up for nothing. im speaking from a personal experience, anyway that really sucks!

 

[LOTRFan]

Sorry to hear that, but at least she figured it out now before you had kids and half of your income goes her direction.

 

[LChinoz]

. Dude not to be a ____ bu you need to kick her ass out! How are you supposed to start the healing process with her around? Say sorry you feel that way. You have to gtfo.

I think she's using you for a place to stay, before she leaves... kick her out...

I understand what you guys are saying but she is not that kind of person. I decided I need to be the better person. I can't kick her out even if I should because I care about her and she has nowhere else to go. She never cared about money or material things. She would never stay with me just so she wouldn't have to pay rent. In fact, after she moved in with me she tried to give my dad (who pays the utilities on the apartment) $200 a month but he never took it. One of her greatest fears is to be seen as a freeloader. She could easily stay with my mom, but she really wants to live with me. This is why our relationship is odd.

 

[Deckard]

You cuddle and cry!


She doesn't know what she has!

She has a guy breaking down, and she wants a man. No offence, it happens but you need to be strong and remember your the man in the relationship. Its alright to show emotion but your going overboard.

Your idea of being done collecting tells me your thinking of trying to change yourself, maybe in an attempt to show her you can evolve but thats not the way to do it, don't change for anyone.

You gotta stop thinking about her, trust me its not going to work out for you in the long run, I guarentee you'll sink into depression like you've never felt before when she finally goes away. Everyone wants to think theyre girl or situation is differant but to be brutally honest its not, its the same thing people have been going through since they invented monogamous relationships.

 

[Maglor]

She has a guy breaking down, and she wants a man.

BOOOOO!

 

[Boba Ben]

She's probably hurting you more by living with you when you should be working on trying to heal from the breakup and getting used to being away from her.

Also when I get dumped it makes me want to buy more statues and figures because I don't have women folk telling me what to do with my moneys.

 

[Maglor]

...when I get dumped it makes me want to buy more statues and figures because I don't have women folk telling me what to do with my moneys.

Oooh! Nice!

 

[daikkenaurora]

Get dumped. I just was, by my gf of 5 years. 1. Suddenly she feels she no longer has feelings for me, like we're already married and lost the romantic spark. Long story short we still see each other every day and 2. live together/sleep in the same bed, just no hanky panky. We are best friends and I cannot live without her in my life. Honestly, things aren't really that different than they were when we were a couple, except I break down every once and a while when we're watching TV because I remember a happy memory or something. Anyway, I have been so depressed over this I have felt no need to collect or buy anything. I know this may "fade" but seeing as I am going to live with my ex gf until she leaves for Graduate school in September, I know the depression will not go away. I am kind of happy and sad at the same time because I know I need to save money and this will help, but it still sucks. It's like a part of me is gone. I'm 25 BTW, so I know I am still young but my ex is the only friend I really have. Anyway this may take me out the the hobby for good.

1. She met someone else.

2. You better because if you dont, its only going to get worse. Dont torture yourself.

3. Another reason she left you. She feels like her life is going to change so she decides to break up with you just in case. happens alot wen people go from highschool to college. They just suddenly "lose interest".

Take as much time as you need but you gotta move on. But I'm an a--hole so dont listen to me.

I understand what you guys are saying but she is not that kind of person. I decided I need to be the better person. I can't kick her out even if I should because I care about her and she has nowhere else to go. She never cared about money or material things. She would never stay with me just so she wouldn't have to pay rent. In fact, after she moved in with me she tried to give my dad (who pays the utilities on the apartment) $200 a month but he never took it. One of her greatest fears is to be seen as a freeloader. She could easily stay with my mom, but she really wants to live with me. This is why our relationship is odd.

I dont see why. Is it out of convenience?

 

[Deckard]

BOOOOO!

Hey the kids hurting, Im not going to lie to him to humor him. He needs to hear the truth from someone.