Whiplash Mark II/Relationship Advice

[Jeff12burq]

Looking for some relationship advice that maybe some collectors who are experiencing or have already gone through what I currently am going through.

I don’t even know where to begin so I’ll just give you the basics. I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 3 months now (officially one month). She’s 22 beautiful and has a really cool personality, can pretty much talk to her about anything.

Anyways, she comes over to my place yesterday (first time) to watch the US vs Japan World Cup Championship. Things are going great and we were had a really good time. After the match she asks for a “tour” which implies seeing my bedroom. So I’m thinking everything is going great and as soon as she walks in my bedroom she sees my Iron Whiplash Mark II and walks directly to it asking allll kinds of questions. What is it, Where did I get this, Who made it, (she knew it was from Iron Man) she was verrrry interested.

And then, she asks how much it was.

This is hobby is something I rarely talk about with friends and family because few people understand it. Everyone thinks they are amazing, high quality detailed figures…..but when I let them know the price-they can’t believe it.

So I kind of begin to panic, not really wanting to reveal the cost of each figure.

I ask her how much she thinks it was.

She literally has no idea, and guesses $50!

Soon after, I told her the retail price.

She didn’t believe me. And starts to laugh. So she asks again.

And I say the same price.

She became very quiet and went back into the living room and sits down. I could tell she was shocked.

At this point, I began to worry, but tried my best to act like everything is fine. So I asked her if she feels like going to IHOP.

She says no-and that we needed to talk. I tried my best to act like I didn’t know about what. But I knew….I knew.

This is when she let me know that if we are going to be together and if we had any future together we would need to watch our finances and that her parents fought a lot about money causing them to end their marriage. And asked if I was going to buy anymore of these figures. (This morning I just ordered early processed my Mark VII Stealth and have a Mark III coming with one flexpay left-not to mention my Mark 1 currently boxed up LOL)

So I said, look I think you’re overreacting and I am not financially irresponsible and have my finances in order. Also, maybe she is thinking too far ahead and too much into this situation. And tell her lets go get some dinner and that would make everything better.

She finally agreed, but I could tell it was still on her mind the rest of the night.

I haven’t heard from her since last night. And she always texts/facebooks me something in the morning or by the afternoon. I’m thinking she is either upset or scared about the whole situation. And can’t stop thinking about her now and feel kind of bad for charging my Stealth Version now.

Anyways I’m not texting/calling her until she contacts me. I don’t appreciate the way she handled the situation. We barely know each other and I feel like she waaaayyyy overreacted. If we were married or engaged I could see her having this talk with me. But I’m in charge of my own finances. To be honest, I really don’t think it’s none of her business and this could be an inidicator of things to come.

But then I started thinking, I really like this girl! I could see myself ending up with her and I know loving someone takes sacrifice. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her all day.

I still haven’t figure out what to do. I'm going to give a couple of days.

So my question to you collectors out there is
-How would you handle this?
- Am I the one over reacting?
- Have you been in a similar situation?
- How do you and your significant other handle expenses when it comes to collectibles?
-What's your take?

 

[Natalie Rushman]

Um, 3 months is WAY too early to be talking about finances. She needs to chill out a bit, not to mention take you at your word that your responsible with your money. I couldn't imagine dating a guy for just 3 months and then questioning him like that over a figure/motorcycle/hobby.

 

[The Mike]

A relationship advice thread, I'm interested to see if this goes the way the other two did.

 

[Jeff12burq]

Um, 3 months is WAY too early to be talking about finances. She needs to chill out a bit, not to mention take you at your word that your responsible with your money. I couldn't imagine dating a guy for just 3 months and then questioning him like that over a figure/motorcycle/hobby.

Oh excellent! A girl's perspective. Thank you for the advice. That's exactly the way I feel, but when she told me about her parents, I'm thinking this could be a really important thing to her.

 

[Jeff12burq]

Could you post those links Mike?

 

[Boba Ben]

Just tell her they're $20.

 

[Natalie Rushman]

Oh excellent! A girl's perspective. Thank you for the advice. That's exactly the way I feel, but when she told me about her parents, I'm thinking this could be a really important thing to her.

I don't doubt that it's important, and it's impressive someone her age is concerned about finances/money, BUT there's a time and place for everything and 3 months in is neither of those.

 

[DarkAngel]

I think it is very understandable that she is nervous about finances especially if it broke up her parents.
-I don't think either one of you is over reacting, you like collecting and she wants to financially secure. Seems reasonable to me on both ends.
-I think one month is a bit early to be worrying about this personally but then again i don't know your guys' relationship
-It may be something where you two sit and work it out. I mean like make spread sheets and stuff, the whole 9 yards. Figure out how much she's comfortable with you spending etc.

 

[SaintSoy]

Did she say, "Hey big guy, funds getting real low"?

 

[murdomac]

Yep 3 months and talking finance and your futures together....mmhh touch of the bunny boiler there i'd say, time to move on, and you could of course ask her how much she pays for shoes/cloths/cosmetics then she might get some perspective.

 

[Natalie Rushman]

Did she say, "Hey big guy, funds getting real low"?

 

[MyenShi]

3 months (1 month officially) is definitely way too early to be that invested in someone else's finances for the most part, unless it was readily apparent that a person is completely irresponsible or burning through money they don't have. Which I imagine isn't the image you give off.

It's not a good sign, though I can understand if it's a deep seeded fear caused by developmental trauma, ie. parents divorcing. She still needs to get a handle on it though. She's already bringing up the future and long term, too. Which is fine, but is that something you're interested in with her?

I would say if the hobby is within your means, try to get that across. It's better to plunk down the money for a figure than to burn it away on frivolous and/or consumables. Plastic crack is less expensive than real crack.

 

[Brainiac]

I think she may have overreacted a little. It is your life as you said and your finances. She has to respect your independacne and it does seem early to be talking about that kind of stuff, you guys should be focusing on the fun and not worrying about the big stuff just yet

I get that she may be a little freaked because of her parents situation, that understandable, but again she may have overreacted with this, maybe you can afford the figure comfortably without cutting back on other things, or maybe they are a good investment because of resale value. I find that whenever someone inquires about the price of a figure to me, telling them the current market price makes them jealous they don't have one lol.

All in all I think she didnt react to well, however if you really like her(and think hard) I think you should contact her and maybe have a mature discussion about what happened, convey you're feelings clearly and make sure to consider her side as well

Just my honest advice my friend
and just to let you know I'm only 19 sooooo maybe don't listen

 

[SinVraal]

At 1-3 months you're still barely at the stage where you know each other very well. Your finances and how you spend your fun money are your business. On the other hand, her memories of her parents are obviously an issue for her. You could put it to her this way: the upcoming time in your relationship is a good opportunity for her to see how you handle money, communicate about it, and for you to earn her trust in that department.

 

[Brainiac]

I think it is very understandable that she is nervous about finances especially if it broke up her parents.
-I don't think either one of you is over reacting, you like collecting and she wants to financially secure. Seems reasonable to me on both ends.
-I think one month is a bit early to be worrying about this personally but then again i don't know your guys' relationship
-It may be something where you two sit and work it out. I mean like make spread sheets and stuff, the whole 9 yards. Figure out how much she's comfortable with you spending etc.

Very good advice

Did she say, "Hey big guy, funds getting real low"?

Someone rep this dude

 

[WWEJedi]

Its your money, not hers.

If you were engaged or married and your figure purchases were costing you to go into debt or be late on bills I can understand her concerns and would want you stop.

 

[Boba Ben]

Serious answer:

I'd be the bigger person and talk to her first. Tell her that you totally understand where she's coming from as finances led to her parents' breakup and that can affect someone quite a bit and make things scary for her, but that doesn't mean your collecting is going to lead to the same thing with the two of you. Explain to her how it's a hobby that's important to you and that you make sure to budget for it and don't put more important things above it. Maybe also throw in the thing about how you don't really share your hobby with anyone else, but she means a lot to you and you felt comfortable enough with her to share it with her. That might melt the ice a bit.

 

[Natalie Rushman]

It's a one time payment too. It's not like you're paying $300 a month for the guy. Did you explain they can be an investment as well? If you want to try that, I'd use the Avengers Hawkeye as the perfect example. A $189 figure is going for $300-$600 (or more) on Ebay.

 

[YankeesFanboy]

A relationship advice thread, I'm interested to see if this goes the way the other two did.

Methinks it will, thanks to that popcorn gif.

 

[Sweet Rabbit]

Drop her off at the curb