the girl I loved has gender and sexual issues, is it worth it or a lost cause?

[The Ween]

Even she answered a lot of questions for you. She wants to be a man and be with women. Whether she becomes a man or not, she's interested in woman and not men, which you are. I hope she isn't just using you for money or anything else. Be her friend if need be, but you're going to have to face it, the relationship that you're wanting is over.

 

[Thainitty]

Move on, learn from this and find someone better....there's billions of women out there and plenty of cool ones that you'll enjoy spending time with. This girl is a lost cause and no good for you, deep down you know that already......good luck

 

[Batfreak]

Yeah... it's been over and to be honest me and her had words that weren't very nice at the end basically because I did feel used and she definitely lead me on the second time around when she clearly wasn't ready to be in anything serious. She said if I found someone else then great but she didn't want me to raise my hopes that we're going to get back together. And considering that she had been lying to not only me but her whole family for the last five years about her sexuality as well as her gender feelings it's hard to trust this girl and I don't know if I could ever trust her again after all the ******** lies. As it turns out she has a lot more issues than just the gender gay thing she's pretty childish in many ways and from what I heard from her parents she had been in many relationships mostly with men and a few with women that they didn't know about. She's a very sexual person which on my end is good but we honestly didn't have much of a sex life but apparently when she was with this girl they were having sex all the time if you could even call it that. Even though she claims to this day that she is not gay but only bisexual I truly think she's on the road to Gayville especially if she wants to be a man. She's back-and-forth with her emotions and doesn't and you are alright she is very unstable and if it wasn't me it would've been someone else that she hurt. She was definitely showing very narcissistic behavior and even said to me when I told her I bought her all those things and did all those things for her she threw it back at me that she never asked for those things that it was all on me. I don't know if that sounds rude or not but that was very hurtful to say to someone that did so much for her and she just threw it back in my face. Throw in the fact that she has an extremely clingy and possessive mother who rules for life practically it is a tyrant and I don't know if he ever would've worked. But I can't help the fact that I miss her and I don't know maybe I just feel sorry for her but I missed the girl I met last year you know when she actually was a girl now she wants to look like a boy and it's just sad and I don't know why I missed her the way I do.

 

[fosing]

on a side-note, you cant be eligible for transgender operation if you have mental issues, right?

buffalo bill, comes to mind.

 

[CAhobbit]

on a side-note, you cant be eligible for transgender operation if you have mental issues, right?

buffalo bill, comes to mind.

Correct. Those looking to transition do have to got through extensive therapy and then from there hormone treatments and various body augmentation surgeries.

Ultimately, if you are going to go from one gender to another it is a very long and involved process (emotionally, mentally and physically). No one who is deemed mentally unstable would be (or at least shouldn't be) allowed to move forward with certain steps of the process as it can bring about potential malpractice suits and such.

 

[Batfreak]

Well she will has been asked this question before apparently her brother asked her if money was no object would she get the surgery and she had to pause and said I don't know. Since then I think she has said she would not get the full surgery but that does not change the fact that she feels like a mail in a woman's body and can go both ways sexually at least that's what she says who the hell knows what she's really thinking. I guess it's no longer my problem since were not going out anymore and I feel that I cared about her way too much. It's weird to care about someone who doesn't really care about you but even before I met her she had commitment issues I don't know if this has anything to do with it. She said to me the night that she told me about this gender stuff she told me that if she wasn't going through all of this she probably would've been married a long time ago and I believe her.

 

[Batfreak]

I'm going to be brutally honest because I think you need to hear it.

You're story is so bad it almost sounds like a joke. Like there's no way anyone could be as crazy as you and still be sticking around with her. I'm not saying this to **** all over you while you're hurting, but you need to know what it honestly looks like from the outside perspective. It's like an SNL sketch about a guy that's completely oblivous and way too nice. You need a wake up call and family usually aren't going to say these things, so I will. Get out. Get away from her. You'll be happier, faster. As opposed to, maybe, never again.

You're way too nice. Way too nice. It's not a bad trait but you're going to hurt yourself with the level of trust you're extending to someone who isn't giving it back. She's telling you outright that she doesn't want to be with you. That she doesn't know who she is. That is clearly a person not ready for the responsibility of other people's feelings. If both of you are unhappy, there is nothing there to build on. It's not going to hurt her like you think it is. It won't hurt you anymore than it already is.

Even if you have no other options atm, I promise, you can do better. You're only delaying your own happiness.

Well you pretty much nailed it Dekard thanks for the honest and straightforward response. I've been dealing with this hurt for a while now I guess because there were things about her that I really did like and I guess I sense the good in her kind of like Darth Vader ha ha. But in this case I don't think there is any saving her she seems in general like not only unstable but just plain irresponsible when it comes to life. She can't seem to hold a job she's always late for things and like I said I think she's pretty self absorbency because she's a performer and obviously insecure with herself. It's so sad that just a year or so ago she had long beautiful blonde hair with those big blue eyes and that nice laid-back easy-going personality that I liked singing to me when she was in her band which was the coolest thing. But apparently that was all a lie I'm friends with her ex girlfriend Maria and Maria asked her if she was living a lie while she was with me and she said yes she was. So I guess she realize she would rather be with a woman then be with a man who really cared about her. It's just a sad situation and yes you're right I can definitely do better than this weird screwed up chick.

 

[crows]

on a side-note, you cant be eligible for transgender operation if you have mental issues, right?

buffalo bill, comes to mind.

the weird thing with this issue is that some people say that wanting to do that to your body is mental illness on its own (even some doctor came out saying that they are mentally ill)
And sometimes after they do the surgery they end up regretting it (sometimes taking their own lives too) It is a really complicated subject. must feel terrible to feel like you were born in the wrong body.

 

[fosing]

the weird thing with this issue is that some people say that wanting to do that to your body is mental illness on its own (even some doctor came out saying that they are mentally ill)
And sometimes after they do the surgery they end up regretting it (sometimes taking their own lives too) It is a really complicated subject. must feel terrible to feel like you were born in the wrong body.

like it was hard enough being blackmask then werewolf beast then crows.

 

[crows]

you forgot one!

 

[filip629]

Run. Cut your losses and get out while you can.

 

[crows]

she should watch this show (Im serious )

True life: im questioning my gender again

True Life | I'm Questioning My Gender Again | MTV

 

[GeneralZodLives]

You need to cut her out of your life. There won't be a stable relationship there--friend or otherwise--due to her issues. She'll just continue to take advantage of your nice nature without providing you anything in return except for heart break.

 

[fosing]

as sheaty as the situation has and may become...

you will eventually get friend-zoned.

 

[crows]

as sheaty as the situation has and may become...

you will eventually get friend-zoned.

or she will use him as a friend for support and when she finds herself and she comes out of it she will leave
the question is, is OP willing to be there for her as an emotional support pillow and can he let her go once she doesnt need him anymore
but whatever happens the sure thing is this, she will eventually leave. she has to.

 

[Mr. Green]

ohhh, so like he's a come-back-guy. he'll make her better, back before she feel bad/dumped. then she'll dump him when she come back to normal and find another guy, cough, cough, girl. better yet, use him to hook up new girls. wonder if this just happened or he's on her dog leash. anyway......such dramas

 

[crows]

ohhh, so like he's a come-back-guy. he'll make her better, back before she feel bad/dumped. then she'll dump him when she come back to normal and find another guy, cough, cough, girl. better yet, use him to hook up new girls. wonder if this just happened or he's on her dog leash. anyway......such dramas

u got it

the real question is if he is ready to accept this, if he is... then there's no problem.

 

[Batfreak]

Another weird thing is and I'm not kidding here, she would walk to the bathrooms when we were out somewhere but she would literally get confused and she would tell me that she really doesn't know which door to walk into when she goes to the bathroom the men's room or the women's room. She was being serious not joking so yeah if that isn't messed up and weird then I don't know what is ha ha.

 

[Batfreak]

You need to cut her out of your life. There won't be a stable relationship there--friend or otherwise--due to her issues. She'll just continue to take advantage of your nice nature without providing you anything in return except for heart break.

This is exactly what happened dude.... Exactly. It didn't help that she's very immature when it comes to real relationships and how to handle things in life so there were a lot more issues than just the obvious. I don't know if it would be considered mental but definitely immaturity was a big problem with her.

 

[mfoga]

on a side-note, you cant be eligible for transgender operation if you have mental issues, right?

buffalo bill, comes to mind.

I am pretty sure that would depend on where you try to have it. I would bet in some counties it would be just a question of $