Mark VII Stealth/Relationship Problems

[Brainiac]

My advice is, don't seek relationship advice in a toy forum.

Why? Just because we collect toys doesn't mean we don't have relationships or advice that might help

 

[SaintSoy]

You could always take one of your old Hot Toys boxes, show up to her door with some roses, and proceed as such:

 

[Brainiac]

 

[ksteezy]

Honestly it seems like as long as you are collecting figures she isn't going to be happy. And I do not believe that anyone should change for the person they are with so I'm not entirely sure this is a good relationship for either of you. I hope everything works out for the best tho and I wish you luck!

You should always compromise in relationships, saying you shouldn't change ever is rather selfish, we all have room for improvement.

 

[DarkAngel]

You should always compromise in relationships, saying you shouldn't change ever is rather selfish, we all have room for improvement.

I think you misunderstood me. I don't view a compromise as a full on change. And you're absolutely right compromises are completely necessary. I said it seems like as long as he is collecting she will always be nervous and unhappy. Therefore it would seem he would need to stop collecting which is a change, not a comprise. The ideal situation for them would be they set up a spending limit so he can collect and she feels secure. But I think if she expects him to stop altogether that that is unfair to him. It's all about finding middle ground.

 

[Brainiac]

You should always compromise in relationships, saying you shouldn't change ever is rather selfish, we all have room for improvement.

That's sorta true as well, theres nothing wrong with compromise, but changing who you are or what you believe in is something I'd never ask my partner to do. If you love them and they love you, then they should accept you for who you are

 

[Brainiac]

I think you misunderstood me. I don't view a compromise as a full on change. And you're absolutely right compromises are completely necessary. I said it seems like as long as he is collecting she will always be nervous and unhappy. Therefore it would seem he would need to stop collecting which is a change, not a comprise. The ideal situation for them would be they set up a spending limit so he can collect and she feels secure. But I think if she expects him to stop altogether that that is unfair to him. It's all about finding middle ground.

I totally agree, that seems like the best solution in this case, and if they want to make it work they should look for a solution to these kind of problems and not try and fix it by asking for a change that might make the other person unhappy, because then it becomes a bad relationship that shouldn't exist in the first place

 

[Snake Plissken]

Oh, another Dr. Phil thread.

 

[crazygmpoker]

What a world we live in. I'd rather have her lie to me and tell me it was because I wasn't tall enough or something superficial. Not due to being interested in a hobby.

 

[ksteezy]

I think you misunderstood me. I don't view a compromise as a full on change. And you're absolutely right compromises are completely necessary. I said it seems like as long as he is collecting she will always be nervous and unhappy. Therefore it would seem he would need to stop collecting which is a change, not a comprise. The ideal situation for them would be they set up a spending limit so he can collect and she feels secure. But I think if she expects him to stop altogether that that is unfair to him. It's all about finding middle ground.

Yup DEFINITELY

 

[ksteezy]

And if on the same night she drops the L word, she reads you because of something so petty, is safe to assume she didn't mean it bro....

Trust there is a better fit for you out there, you have the chance to find someone that shares this hobby with you....I got into collecting after being married...wife has warmed up to it, but I still thread very lightly.

 

[The Iron Koob]

They haven't been together very long. She has no right to be questioning his finances even though he has bought a lot of figures lately lol. The story was funny but this is too much craziness. Just find a girl who is okay with it. I had a similar situation and it wasn't good. My soon to be fiancee gave me few groans but she's pretty cool about it now. Much better

 

[Fremen]

Wow. There are other woman out there who understand that what you spend your money on is your business and not theirs. I mean, you guys aren't married and don't have kids so it really is none of her business.

Sounds like she's a little jealous of your hobby.

 

[ksteezy]

Wow. There are other woman out there who understand that what you spend your money on is your business and not theirs. I mean, you guys aren't married and don't have kids so it really is none of her business.

Sounds like she's a little jealous of your hobby.

Dude, right on.

 

[hokietwo]

Jeff's just got to look her squa in the eye and say.....

 

[spectramr2]

Since this is related to the Stealth MK VII....Ill put in my $0.02. Im married with 2 kids, 5 and 3. I pay for the mortgage, private school tuition and a lot of other things. She pays for the insurance and her car payments. We were at Costco on Sunday, and there was a vitamix (Smoothie blenders that they use at jamba juice) booth....kids loved the smoothie samples of course, and she says 'we should get one'. Keep in mind, these are $500 blenders. So, i said 'Ok'. Yesterday, i told her 'I never ever dreamed i would pay $500 for a blender' and her response was 'I never dreamed someone would pay $350+ for an action figure.'

We then both laughed it off. The point is that if she's questioning your spending habits now and not even knowing how financially stable you are....then this will always be an issue whenever you buy something without consulting her first. The last thing you want to do is to be walking on eggshells the rest of you relationship.

JMHO.

 

[Josette]

I think you misunderstood me. I don't view a compromise as a full on change. And you're absolutely right compromises are completely necessary. I said it seems like as long as he is collecting she will always be nervous and unhappy. Therefore it would seem he would need to stop collecting which is a change, not a comprise. The ideal situation for them would be they set up a spending limit so he can collect and she feels secure. But I think if she expects him to stop altogether that that is unfair to him. It's all about finding middle ground.

Agreed.

Compromises should benefit both parties as a middle ground, not force one person to change drastically for the other. I can only go by what the OP posts, but if this is an accurate picture I don't think he has any reason to believe in the future that she wouldn't tell him to stop collecting or she'd leave him. If the OP is truthful, she isn't acting in any way that's even slightly mature.

Now, a situation could easily exist where the person's in debt up to their eyeballs and living with no furniture, etc...to afford this stuff, which would be one thing. But I've seen just as many circumstances where someone just plain doesn't like the hobby and doesn't want their significant other into it - just flat out demanding they change because that's what the person WANTS.

It's important to recognize when it's better to break up than trying to force someone to fit into the box you want them to fit into. Using "love" doesn't work - because if someone isn't in an unhealthy situation and just has a passion for something - how much can you really "love" them while wanting them to give up things they enjoy?

Also, everybody has deal breakers. One of mine was kids. I've never wanted them, at any point in my life. I wouldn't be with a guy who really wanted them. If he settled for having no kids because of me, he would resent me and our life together. If I popped out a kid because he wanted one even though I didn't, I would end up resenting him. That's a HUGE lifestyle difference. You gotta know what you want and don't want. When it's fine and right to compromise, and when it's not. And when it's better to walk away and meet someone who is more compatible with you.


*I have a wonderful SO, whom I met because of our shared collecting hobby - we have similar goals and desires in life, our differences compliment each other. This hobby brought us together. Waiting to find someone who "fits" with me, was more than worth it.

 

[DarkAngel]

Well said Josette

 

[Brainiac]

Agreed.

Compromises should benefit both parties as a middle ground, not force one person to change drastically for the other. I can only go by what the OP posts, but if this is an accurate picture I don't think he has any reason to believe in the future that she wouldn't tell him to stop collecting or she'd leave him. Now, a situation could easily exist where the person's in debt up to their eyeballs and living with no furniture, etc...to afford this stuff, which would be one thing. But I've seen just as many circumstances where someone just plain doesn't like the hobby and doesn't want their significant other into it - just flat out demanding they change because that's what the person WANTS.

It's important to recognize when it's better to break up than trying to force someone to fit into the box you want them to fit into.

Also, everybody has deal breakers. One of mine was kids. I've never wanted them, at any point in my life. I wouldn't be with a guy who really wanted them. If he settled for having no kids because of me, he would resent me and our life together. If I popped out a kid because he wanted one even though I didn't, I would end up resenting him. That's a HUGE lifestyle difference. You gotta know what you want and don't want. When it's fine and right to compromise, and when it's not. And when it's better to walk away and meet someone who is more compatible with you.


*I have a wonderful SO, whom I met because of our shared collecting hobby - we have similar goals and desires in life, our differences compliment each other. This hobby brought us together. Waiting to find someone who "fits" with me, was more than worth it.

That's really well put Josette
Also I love the part in Red and I'm really happy for you

 

[ebor]

You should sell your story to a publicist in Hollywood; makes for a great scenario for a Sit-Com.

I would title it "Nerd-lust" or "The Hot Toys gotta stay, your cat's gotta go" or "Plastic Evil vs. Ms. Common Sense"