LaMelnik
Super Freak
Ok those of you who were in Chat during Spooktacular will remember that the wife told me that I had to take my 9 year old and her cousin to see Hannah Montana in concert.
Well for two weeks I had been dreading it as 1. I don't want to be around 15,000 screaming girls all underarge 2. That is definitely NOT my kind of music and 3. I AM SICK OF THE FLIPPIN Show as is.
I tried to bribe every aunt and sister i could but the wife was not having it.
Mind you our seats were in the area that were selling for roughly $700 each. I got our for face valuse of $66 each.
So that is that and yesterday came....
I cmae home around 2:30 from work and picked up my 9 year old from school. We then went to go pick up her cousin and then headed into traffic to downtown LA.
After about an hour we get to our destination and there is a little staging area across the street from the Staples center with a Hannah Montana bus, some take your picture pavilion and a place for Oliver (from Hannah Montana) to sign autos.
We go check things out and all of a sudden Oliver comes out and it is mayhem! I thought I was being attacked by 500 pre-puberty girls. I managed to escape the madness and asked my daughter and her cousin if they wanted his autograph. Both said "nah" and inside I said "YES!!!!" Score one for Dad!
So we leave to go grab some food inside the Staples Center as we have an hour and a half to kill. We eat and what not until about 1/2 and hour for the concert to start.
We make our way inside and my daughter and her cousin run straight to the souvenir booth. I said "Damn there goes the wallet". So I wind up buying two programs ($20 ea), two sweatshirts ($60 ea), a light ($10) and a t-shirt ($30). So much for that $180 dollars.
We go to our seats and luckily they are located on the side with a wall right behind us so I don't have to worry about blocking any little screaming girls.
Right before the show starts my daughter tells me that she wants cotton candy ($7 for 2). Then she tells me she wants water ($12 for 3). Now I think we are good. then the gilrs next to me start talking to me telling me how this is the best day of their lives and that they will never forget this and that Hannah/Miley is the most amazing person, blah blah blah... (Yes I am in HELL).
Finally the show kicks off and I go deaf as 15,000 girls scream at the top of their lungs when The Jonus Brothers come out. I have no idea who they are but my daughter sure did as she sang every shong word for word that was played. Oh and now I have to buy their new CD/DVD Deluxe Edition Album that is out. UGH!!!
They play for about 1/2 an hour and then a small intermission happens. that is when my daughter starts whining that she is hungry and wants McDonalds. I told her that she just ate before the concert and she says that she didn't like it and threw it up in the bathroom.
I am not happy about this at all as it means 1. she has learned that you can just throw up your food if you don't like it from one of my wifes sisters and 2. I just wasted $15 on a kids meal inside the restraurant.
So I do what any parent concerned with their child being feed, I go and get her McDonalds ($9).
Now Hannah is onstage and I have gone deaf again but this time I am being beat up by all the girls around me scream and jumping and landing on me.
Boy who did I piss off to get this done to me.
So this goes on for the whole first set and then Hannah sings a song with the Jonus Brothers and it gets even crazier. After that song, there is a break.
During this break a smoking hot mother comes up to me and starts talking that she has been watching me and that she loves how I am there taking my girls to a concert as not many fathers would. I tell her that it wasn't by choice and that I did try to get out of it. She said that I could have sold the tickets for top dollar. I said yeah but my daughters heart would have been broken and I can torment a night of agony for that not to happen. She smiled and then whispered into my ear that she would like to get to know me better and slipped her number in my hand.
I just said thank you and I would see as I am a very busy person traveling a lot for work.
In reality I am thinking "Lady are you out of your FLIPPING MIND!!!!" Like I am going to ruin 13 years of marriage and destroy my family for a piece of a$$. Sorry but I don't play those games and especially with some lady that tries to pick me up at a kids concert. That is just desperation all gone wrong in my book.
After that, Hannah is now Miley and I go deaf again from all the screaming. I'm sure I will be bruised from all the girls jumping and bumping into me later on.
Finally the show is over and I make sure I take the girls to the bathroom so that I don't have to make a stop on the way home. While I am waiting for them outside. I kid you not, two more hot looking Mom's come up and talk to me and start the whole how great it is for Dad to take his girls to the concert and that they thought it was sexy and what not. And YES they give me their numbers too.
I'm thinking to myself, who the hell needs to go to a bar to get laid anymore. Just take a little girl to a concert and you will have not problem getting some. I wish I had known that 15 years ago as I would have saved a ton in buying drinks for women.
I take the numbers and shove them in my pocket and my daughter and her cousin come out. I am thinking "Thank God" I just want to go home and take a shower and go to sleep.
Finally after 45 minutes of people fighting in the parking lot to get out, (I tell you if people would just do a 1 and 1 when leaving a 45 minute wait would be 10 mintues) we are heading home.
It's a good ride home as the girls pass out.
I get home and my wife asks how it went. I said fine and if we ever get divorced I know where to find a new mom.
She looked at me funny and I handed her the phone numbers and told her "You might want to interview them to see if they are fit to be Moms for you duaghters cause they sure wanted theri Dad" 
She gave me a look of anger like I had done something wrong. I told her that I did nothing and that I didn't have to say a thing.
So after that she told me that I am not allowed to take our girls to anymore concerts again.
"YES!!!!" MY NIGHT OF MISERY PAID OFF AND I AM FREE!!!!!
Thank you Hannah Montana you just saved me form years of torment now.
:chew
Well for two weeks I had been dreading it as 1. I don't want to be around 15,000 screaming girls all underarge 2. That is definitely NOT my kind of music and 3. I AM SICK OF THE FLIPPIN Show as is.
I tried to bribe every aunt and sister i could but the wife was not having it.
Mind you our seats were in the area that were selling for roughly $700 each. I got our for face valuse of $66 each.
So that is that and yesterday came....
I cmae home around 2:30 from work and picked up my 9 year old from school. We then went to go pick up her cousin and then headed into traffic to downtown LA.
After about an hour we get to our destination and there is a little staging area across the street from the Staples center with a Hannah Montana bus, some take your picture pavilion and a place for Oliver (from Hannah Montana) to sign autos.
We go check things out and all of a sudden Oliver comes out and it is mayhem! I thought I was being attacked by 500 pre-puberty girls. I managed to escape the madness and asked my daughter and her cousin if they wanted his autograph. Both said "nah" and inside I said "YES!!!!" Score one for Dad!
So we leave to go grab some food inside the Staples Center as we have an hour and a half to kill. We eat and what not until about 1/2 and hour for the concert to start.
We make our way inside and my daughter and her cousin run straight to the souvenir booth. I said "Damn there goes the wallet". So I wind up buying two programs ($20 ea), two sweatshirts ($60 ea), a light ($10) and a t-shirt ($30). So much for that $180 dollars.
We go to our seats and luckily they are located on the side with a wall right behind us so I don't have to worry about blocking any little screaming girls.
Right before the show starts my daughter tells me that she wants cotton candy ($7 for 2). Then she tells me she wants water ($12 for 3). Now I think we are good. then the gilrs next to me start talking to me telling me how this is the best day of their lives and that they will never forget this and that Hannah/Miley is the most amazing person, blah blah blah... (Yes I am in HELL).
Finally the show kicks off and I go deaf as 15,000 girls scream at the top of their lungs when The Jonus Brothers come out. I have no idea who they are but my daughter sure did as she sang every shong word for word that was played. Oh and now I have to buy their new CD/DVD Deluxe Edition Album that is out. UGH!!!
They play for about 1/2 an hour and then a small intermission happens. that is when my daughter starts whining that she is hungry and wants McDonalds. I told her that she just ate before the concert and she says that she didn't like it and threw it up in the bathroom.
I am not happy about this at all as it means 1. she has learned that you can just throw up your food if you don't like it from one of my wifes sisters and 2. I just wasted $15 on a kids meal inside the restraurant.
So I do what any parent concerned with their child being feed, I go and get her McDonalds ($9).
Now Hannah is onstage and I have gone deaf again but this time I am being beat up by all the girls around me scream and jumping and landing on me.
Boy who did I piss off to get this done to me.
So this goes on for the whole first set and then Hannah sings a song with the Jonus Brothers and it gets even crazier. After that song, there is a break.
During this break a smoking hot mother comes up to me and starts talking that she has been watching me and that she loves how I am there taking my girls to a concert as not many fathers would. I tell her that it wasn't by choice and that I did try to get out of it. She said that I could have sold the tickets for top dollar. I said yeah but my daughters heart would have been broken and I can torment a night of agony for that not to happen. She smiled and then whispered into my ear that she would like to get to know me better and slipped her number in my hand.
I just said thank you and I would see as I am a very busy person traveling a lot for work.
In reality I am thinking "Lady are you out of your FLIPPING MIND!!!!" Like I am going to ruin 13 years of marriage and destroy my family for a piece of a$$. Sorry but I don't play those games and especially with some lady that tries to pick me up at a kids concert. That is just desperation all gone wrong in my book.
After that, Hannah is now Miley and I go deaf again from all the screaming. I'm sure I will be bruised from all the girls jumping and bumping into me later on.
Finally the show is over and I make sure I take the girls to the bathroom so that I don't have to make a stop on the way home. While I am waiting for them outside. I kid you not, two more hot looking Mom's come up and talk to me and start the whole how great it is for Dad to take his girls to the concert and that they thought it was sexy and what not. And YES they give me their numbers too.
I'm thinking to myself, who the hell needs to go to a bar to get laid anymore. Just take a little girl to a concert and you will have not problem getting some. I wish I had known that 15 years ago as I would have saved a ton in buying drinks for women.
I take the numbers and shove them in my pocket and my daughter and her cousin come out. I am thinking "Thank God" I just want to go home and take a shower and go to sleep.
Finally after 45 minutes of people fighting in the parking lot to get out, (I tell you if people would just do a 1 and 1 when leaving a 45 minute wait would be 10 mintues) we are heading home.
It's a good ride home as the girls pass out.
I get home and my wife asks how it went. I said fine and if we ever get divorced I know where to find a new mom.
She looked at me funny and I handed her the phone numbers and told her "You might want to interview them to see if they are fit to be Moms for you duaghters cause they sure wanted theri Dad" She gave me a look of anger like I had done something wrong. I told her that I did nothing and that I didn't have to say a thing.So after that she told me that I am not allowed to take our girls to anymore concerts again.
"YES!!!!" MY NIGHT OF MISERY PAID OFF AND I AM FREE!!!!!
Thank you Hannah Montana you just saved me form years of torment now.
:chew
