The value of life.... My mother...

[Mesa]

I have been notified this afternoon that my moms health has deteriorated. They had removed early colon cancer found almost a week ago. We had surgery to remove it. She was getting better until she started to walk & eat a few days later. She contracted sepsis. We found out she had an infection after the surgery. We immediately did a second surgery to repair the damage. But she had not improved. It has gotten worst. We where giving 2 choices today (1) to keep her alive as long as she could (2) or end it. We wanted 'hope' that she can come out of it.

I spoke to the nurse tonight and ask her what is the chances of her coming out of it. Unfortunately, there is no hope. Her body is not responding to any medication given. Her fingers are turning black.

I can't express how sorry I am for me not spending enough time with her over the past few years. It is my regret that I never got married or her seeing me with any kids. I can't say anything else but to say I love her so much....and I know I only have a few days left with her.

There is a lot of I wish that I could had done with my mother. I know she will be in a better place with my dad. I wish I could had been there to see her 70th birthday.

As I sit here in the hospital writing this, live life to the fullest. I just wish I could had spend more time with her.

I love you mom.....

~ Jason

You're feelings seem pretty "normal", as normal as something can be when dealing with sad news. I had the same regret when my mom passed from breast cancer 6 years ago. She survived with it for 8 years, so I was "lucky" in a sense in that I knew what was coming. Even when she passed, I still regretted not seeing her more often. That's part of the feelings you will go through dealing with it: Sadness, remorse, anger, remorse, sadness, regret, acceptance. I like to think that living 3000 miles away, going to college, and starting a career was a valid excuse to only visit a few times a year when she was dealing with it, but I still wish I could see her again and ask for her advice, unload my problems, etc.

Tell her EVERYTHING you ever wanted her to know while she's here. Even if she's asleep\medicated, do it now, don't put it off, you and your mom will feel better for it.


I just had a friend kill himself after being laid off and taking anti-depressants. Shot himself in his home with his wife and two young children (10 and 12) still in the house. I'm still working through all those emotions, mostly anger right now because he took the cowardly way out and left his family and kids to deal with all the problems he couldn't handle. His children never had that opportunity to tell him goodbye, which makes me feel so awful for them and I can't even imagine how they are processing their feelings.

If there is anything positive to come out of death, it usually brings the survivors closer together and the memories that last are the good ones where you remember all the good times you had together. When it's still fresh, you tend to focus on the negative and what else you could have done or should have said, but that will be replaced with all of the fun times you guys shared.

 

[gibby]

I'm sorry for your loss, Jason.

 

[jimmie_dimmick]

Sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.

 

[spider]

Really sorry to hear about your loss Jason, my deepest condolences go out to you and your family. Take care

 

[civiclx]

Really sorry to hear this VS. I wish you the best during these difficult times

 

[VS1976]

Thanks everyone for there kind words. It's a very trying & tired day for me today.

 

[Davinator65]

Jason,

This thread really hits home. I lost my father a while back, before I got married and had my kids. I too, wish he could enjoy being a grandfather. He would have made a great grandfather, as I am sure your mother would have been a great grandmother. Like yourself, I too had been away from home with college and life in general.

Whatever your feeling right now, any guilt, just remember that your mother loves you very much and she would forgive you for all your deeds good or bad.

All I can say is you have my sympathies and am really truly sorrowful.

 

[carbo-fation]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Voorhees27]

I am deeply sorry to hear about your mother, Jason. Try and remember the good times. I'm sure she was very proud of you.

 

[VS1976]

Thx so much guys.... One thing about the forum is it kind of eases the pain.

 

[Skywalker(OG)Kush]

Very sorry for your loss. Best wishes to your family through these tough times. While the death of a loved one is difficult and very tragic, hopefully it brings ur family closer together as you guys share the great memories that you have of your mother.

 

[batfan08]

I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Hang in there, though, man.

 

[DFanatic]

Sorry to hear about your mom. You, her and your family will be in my thoughts. I can tell you though, your words have touched me.

I live in Canada while my parents are back in Brazil. Two days ago I lost sleep thinking about the time we spend apart. For the past 6 years I only see them for a few weeks every year and it hurts me, because they are getting old, you know?

I might put life on hold soon and go spend some time with them.

Just try and remember the good moments with your mother and cherish them.

Best regards Jason,

 

[penfold*david]

once again so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother
my mother died when i was about four so i don't really remember her.
I think it must be much harder for you.

My thoughts go out to you and your family... hang in there Jason.
All the best David

 

[Nacho]

Sorry for you loss...

 

[Invictus Sol]

My mother died in a very similar situation in ICU around 8 years ago and I still think of her everyday. At the time I'd have very vivid dreams in which we'd talk and I'd wake up disbelieving for a minute or two that she had passed. I don't think there's anything like losing a mother. Very sorry for your loss, VS. Like everyone says, it's good to focus on the good things and experiences you had.

 

[aaronViolator]

my heart goes out to you Jason

 

[Ellatron5000]

my thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Be strong!!

 

[joshh]

Oh man, I am in sorrow to read this. There is nothing worst than the loss of a love one, specially an important person and close to one like a mother, a father. Specially a mother.
I am going through difficult times with my kid, and I cry every night about it. I hope you find comfort in the community and your friends and family. There is no better place for your mother to be than next to you, that's a given. I don't know what I would do in your place but in my case, I definitely would tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am for all the arguments, disagreements and sour moments that happened during the lifetime. Keep the spirit up man, and have faith, we all be gone one day and hopefully, that day, we meet our love ones again.