Anyone ever have to relocate because of their spouse?

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Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

ChrisCJ99 said:
Thanks man. But my question is, what's a normal time frame for someone to start moving on?!?!? I mean, the thing is I just moved out here to LA so I don't have many CLOSE friends... Sure I've met people, but of course it'd be easier to move on if I had the comfort of family and friends I've known for all my life. But I don't have that luxury right now, so it feels very difficult to shake this off my mind........ :eek:
Click to expand...

There is no set time. It's just when your ready.
 
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

ChrisCJ99 said:
Thanks man. But my question is, what's a normal time frame for someone to start moving on?!?!? I mean, the thing is I just moved out here to LA so I don't have many CLOSE friends... Sure I've met people, but of course it'd be easier to move on if I had the comfort of family and friends I've known for all my life. But I don't have that luxury right now, so it feels very difficult to shake this off my mind........ :eek:
Click to expand...
It depends mate, I don't think anyone can give you a definitive 'it takes x weeks then you will be happy again'.

After I moved to Glasgow (from Leeds) for my then GF, then we broke up I was in the same position. When it first happened and we broke up I went home to Leeds and a had a long weekend with my life long friends (I'm estranged from the blood relatives). Then I went back to Glasgow and all I did was throw myself into my work. Thankfully I met a lot of new friends that way so we had nights out after work, a house warming for my new flat and stuff like that.

Just try be happy, go home to see your loved ones, but don't see her as it will just make things more difficult. See your friends/family, concentrate on yourself and helping you feel better.
A big part is that you will prolly still be in the 'we' mindset, you have to start thinking of just you now.
Take as much time as you need, most of all relax and enjoy yourself. You will soon find that you wake up one day and she is a distant memory.

Feel better pal :duff
x :wave
 
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Adoptedscot said:
It depends mate, I don't think anyone can give you a definitive 'it takes x weeks then you will be happy again'.

After I moved to Glasgow (from Leeds) for my then GF, then we broke up I was in the same position. When it first happened and we broke up I went home to Leeds and a had a long weekend with my life long friends (I'm estranged from the blood relatives). Then I went back to Glasgow and all I did was throw myself into my work. Thankfully I met a lot of new friends that way so we had nights out after work, a house warming for my new flat and stuff like that.

Just try be happy, go home to see your loved ones, but don't see her as it will just make things more difficult. See your friends/family, concentrate on yourself and helping you feel better.
A big part is that you will prolly still be in the 'we' mindset, you have to start thinking of just you now.
Take as much time as you need, most of all relax and enjoy yourself. You will soon find that you wake up one day and she is a distant memory.

Feel better pal :duff
x :wave
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing your personal experience. I guess I was just curious what kind of time frame/stages other people went through.... Like how many weeks/months did this just EAT them up inside (couldn't sleep, eat, focus). I find myself still unable to sleep properly, and still can't focus in school.....

I agree that NO contact is the best, since every time I have made an effort to contact her it's been nothing but destructive.... When she has NO interest in speaking to me, there's no point anymore. So I'm going back to Florida for two weeks on May 5-21. I know now that I really need to stay away, and that's what I plan to do.... There's no point in seeing her, or even contacting her when I'm in town. She apparently gives two chits about my life, so I'll do the same in return. I just hate how people proclaim "Oh, I just care about you WAY too much....." That's such a load of crap. If she even remotely cared she wouldn't be treating me like such a prick....

Thanks for the input though folks :eek:
 
I think even if she pulled something like a "I want you back situation" the argument would still be NULL for me.

Done. Gone.... Bye bye!
 
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

ChrisCJ99 said:
Thanks for sharing your personal experience. I guess I was just curious what kind of time frame/stages other people went through.... Like how many weeks/months did this just EAT them up inside (couldn't sleep, eat, focus). I find myself still unable to sleep properly, and still can't focus in school.....

I agree that NO contact is the best, since every time I have made an effort to contact her it's been nothing but destructive.... When she has NO interest in speaking to me, there's no point anymore. So I'm going back to Florida for two weeks on May 5-21. I know now that I really need to stay away, and that's what I plan to do.... There's no point in seeing her, or even contacting her when I'm in town. She apparently gives two chits about my life, so I'll do the same in return. I just hate how people proclaim "Oh, I just care about you WAY too much....." That's such a load of crap. If she even remotely cared she wouldn't be treating me like such a prick....

Thanks for the input though folks :eek:
Click to expand...

I'm approaching three months since i split with my girl of 4 years. Not a moment goes by i dont think about her. Very depressing, particularly because i've gone through Valentines day, my birthday and on 4/21, her birthday. What i will say is though, it does get easier and going out with your friends helps this. So far i've dated two girls and got 'into the knickers' of another girl but its still feels too early for me to move on..
 
You'll know when the time is right. It will just happen. You just have to go out and do things and not mope about it.
 
Wanderer said:
I'm approaching three months since i split with my girl of 4 years. Not a moment goes by i dont think about her. Very depressing, particularly because i've gone through Valentines day, my birthday and on 4/21, her birthday. What i will say is though, it does get easier and going out with your friends helps this. So far i've dated two girls and got 'into the knickers' of another girl but its still feels too early for me to move on..
Click to expand...

not sure the details of your split, but mine was against my will.... But for the best. I did the same as you, and tried dating a couple people. But it was really too soon. So yeah, I just try and keep busy :)

The Ween said:
You'll know when the time is right. It will just happen. You just have to go out and do things and not mope about it.
Click to expand...

Sadly it's been effecting everything I do for the past couple months. But I know, time heals everything :) just curious to hear other peoples input, as always
 
So thanks again for all the great input everyone... So I came back home to Tampa last week, and naturally some things have surfaced about all this... With having mutual friends, and a relationship with family members, hearing about things was inevitable and now some questions have been answered...



I was SO confused and curious as to why I had been getting ignored and what not (as you guys already know). Turns out, the ex had been frequenting bars and clubs and apparently having drunken make out sessions in bars with a guy. And "just recently" the ex has been "talking" to a new guy from her old job..... (she just got fired from a serving job for stealing money off a check)....... :thud: I hate how she proclaimed "I just knew I didn't want to be with you anymore...." Obviously she had new distractions, but didn't care to admit anything to me.... Even when I asked NUMEROUS times if something was going on, she just denied and denied everything. AND she still accepted gifts I was sending from across the country..... While all this was going on back home behind my back?!!!?!?! :gah: So of course after hearing all this, I spoke my mind to her (in a calm, civil manner). Of course everything was "justified" in her mind, and I had NO BUSINESS knowing any of this..... But to dig the knife deeper into my chest, she proceeds to tell me that this "new guy" is SUCH a better fit for her, that he fills all the voids I couldn't, that he pays for everything and that he NEVER gets angry.... blah, blah, blah...



So, it ALL makes sense now. I gotta say, I'm totally shocked to hear all this. I didn't expect this kind of behavior from her... And to think I wanted to marry her??? I don't know who I'm more disappointed in, ME or HER! :slap



So this totally makes "moving on" much easier now, and to know that this is not what I want anymore.... I must admit I had some hope before, but now it's all shot, and that's the best that could've happened. Thanks for the input guys :D Hopefully this shed some light on all this for you, because it SURE did for me. Now I can be put to rest :exactly:
 
Didn't want to say I told you so, and I know it's hard to listen from outsiders....but peeps with this experience, I've seen it a million times with friends, family and what not.

Please let this be the nail in the coffin for you Chris.
 
Skiman said:
Didn't want to say I told you so, and I know it's hard to listen from outsiders....but peeps with this experience, I've seen it a million times with friends, family and what not.

Please let this be the nail in the coffin for you Chris.
Click to expand...

I told you so.....:pfft:
 
Skiman said:
Didn't want to say I told you so, and I know it's hard to listen from outsiders....but peeps with this experience, I've seen it a million times with friends, family and what not.

Please let this be the nail in the coffin for you Chris.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's TOTALLY the nail in the coffin. And despite having everyone point out all the signs, and everyone predicting the behavior they've seen, it's always tough to see this since you want to believe that someone is a great person... But when the truth comes out, it's not a pretty sight.

mr.thrifty said:
I told you so.....:pfft:
Click to expand...


:lol:lol:lol

Thanks Thrifty :)
 

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