THE OFFICIAL "Post Your Non-Winning FLash Fiction Entry Here" Thread

[Lembas Eater]

Ok, there's been a few posted here and there but hopefully this thread will catch on!

Here's mine (btw this was written BEFORE a certain item was announced!), not quite a linear story and a bit experimental but I hope folks like it:

T67531

Internet Connection. Click. Password. *******. Click. Open Web Browser. Bookmarks. SideshowCollectables.Com. Click. Lord of the Rings. Click. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Click. Refresh. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Click. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Open Link in New Window. Click. Homepage. Click. Fantacular 2. Click. IRC Chatroom Now Open. Click

Lembas Eater: What did I miss?
Nessasita: Hi!
Lembas Eater: Hi Ness, Everyone!
Azog: We’re waiting for Chris
Mutant Enemy: And waiting for the -
Lembas Eater: Is it up for order yet?
Mutant Enemy: No, not but the Star Wars EU 12” Grand Admiral Thrawn is
TC: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lembas Eater: Excellent!
Azog: (LINK)
Darklord Dave: But the Excusive is Sold Out
Lembas Eater: Son of a - This ALWAYS happens to me! GRRRR. What was the exclusive?
L4P: one of those force-shielding creatures he had
Lembas Eater: Oh. I don’t need one of those! Ok, Cool!!!! I’m holding out for LOTR though
The Witchking: WARNING!!!
The Witchking: WARNING!!!
The Witchking: WARNING!!!
Lembas Eater: I consider myself sufficiently warned
HyarionUnderhill: This new IRC upgrade is much better!
Beruthiel: Yep!
Lembas Eater: I agree!

New Window. Click. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Wait. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Wait. Click. Wait. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Wait. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Wait.

New Window.
SideshowDusty: Hi everyone!
JLCSMU: Hi Dusty!
Lembas Eater: Hello Dusty!
Nessasita: Dusty!!
Jimmyjames: Hi Dusty
SideshowDusty: Hi Bob
Guest1138: is it time for a giveaway??
SideshowDusty: you greedy little monsters! I think Chicky does have something though
Chicky: Ok. It’s time for a Buffy contest. Use the Entry Form for this one (Link)
New Window. Click. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Wait. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Nothing. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Wait. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Wait.

New Window
Chris: Time for the new announcement!
L4P: Is it a Star Wars PF?
Chris: It’s a Classic Horror Premium Format Figure
Creech: Alright! Now I’m gonna be broke. But Happy!
Chris: Here’s the Link for the Creature From the Black Lagoon PF: (LINK)
Open Link in New Window.
FrankenFan: Awesome!
Lembas Eater: I like that swimming pose!
Mutant Enemy: when does it go up for order?
Chris: It will go up next Friday some time. Stay Tuned!

New Window. Click. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. C’mon! PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Wait.

New Window.
Chris: is everyone having fun?
GabberJawa: Yes!
JohnyBoo: Yes!
Angelica: Yes!
Chris: Ok, just a few minutes to go.
Chris: Here it is, up for order! (LINK)

Click. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Pulse racing. Hourglass. C’mon! PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Hourglass. Sweat dripping from brow. PREVIEW PAGE. Refresh. Wait. Wait. Click PURCHASE. Lord of the Rings ARMORED LURTZ Premium Format Figure Exclusive Edition. Proceed to Checkout. Place Order. Hourglass. Wait. Hourglass. Wait.

YOUR ORDER NUMBER IS T67531.

 

[Darth Madden]

I don't mean this in a bad way but that is by far the weirdest one I have seen yet.

Here is my loosing entry..



Sideshow Collectables Blackbeard the Pirate. Every time I see at that figure I think about Jimmy.

It was the first day of 6th grade. I didn’t have many friends, and at that moment I didn’t really want any. This would be a time of many firsts, but the most important would be the first day of school without my best friend Jimmy. We were supposed to go to the arcade together on Sunday. Jimmy was so excited, but I had a headache and decided not to go, so I told him I would see him at school on Monday. Jimmy went by himself... but he never made it.

I arrived at school that Monday morning, but I have no idea how. All I could think about was Jimmy and how I had brushed him off the day before. Maybe I could have seen the car before he did, maybe I could have saved him, maybe I could have at least said goodbye. They had counselors at school that week, Jimmy had a lot of friends, and talking it out with them did help a little but not enough.

We had been friends all our lives. We lived a few houses from each other and were always together playing football, riding bikes, collecting baseball cards, playing videogames and everything else two young boys do. We spent the night at each others house every weekend and even went on family trips with each other. Officially we were both only children but in reality we weren’t, we had each other, we were brothers.

I made it though the first few days of school ok, and even composed myself enough to make it to the funeral. I didn’t want to go, of course how many people actually do, but I had to say goodbye to my friend. At the funeral I noticed Jimmy’s Blackbeard figure next to his casket and I just had to smile. Jimmy loved pirates and always pretended he was one. I think the poor kid was born about 200 years too late.

Once everything settled down I went to visit Jimmy’s mom to see how she was doing and see if there was anything I could do for her. We talked for hours about Jimmy and how he taught me how to ride a bike and how to make the perfect mud ball. It was getting late and as I was about to leave she went to his bedroom to get something, and came back with Jimmy’s Blackbeard figure. “I want you to have this” she said, “I know how much Jimmy loved it and I am sure he would want you to have it. And, I want you to have it as a reminder of all the wonderful times you two had.” I tried to refuse but she insisted. Now that figure stands proud on my shelf as a wonderful reminder of a great kid, a great person and a true friend

 

[Lembas Eater]

I don't mean this in a bad way but that is by far the weirdest one I have seen yet.

Thank you very much!

 

[gonzo]

Here is my third, never-before-seen entry into the SSC Flash Fiction contest:

"So, here we are."

"Yup."

"Mhmmmm."

"Well, thanks for coming."

"Alright, see you around."

Then the world exploded. Killing everyone and everything, including all the SideShow Collectibles Star Wars toys.

 

[dr2red]

Turnabout.

It started as a small noise growing louder drawing my attention.
The box moved just a bit. A chill ran down my spine.
I crinkled my forehead, squinted my eyes hoping to not see what
I was seeing. I was tired. That had to be it. All the late nights on
Fantacular chat were beginning to effect my sight and my hearing.
I turned back to my computer monitor hoping to focus on the work
at hand. I laughed to myself. I was being silly. The box did not move,
I did not hear small scratch noises coming from the box. If I did hear
and see something it was a mouse , that is the answer.
A mouse is inside the box making it move and scratching to get out.
Memo to self , get mouse traps.
I continue to browse the Sideshow Collectibles web site looking for a
bargain or two. I hope Hellboy 1/6 goes on sale.
There it is again, the noise, the scratching.
Slowly I turned, and looked straight at the box.
The box was gone!
I was beginning to feel dizzy, disoriented.
I closed my eyes to calm myself and fight down the panic rising
in me.
I opened my eyes slowly but everything was blurry, distorted.
It was like I was looking through a watery film. I was feeling
constricted, I could not move my arms or legs. Something was
holding me in place.
I fought to remove myself from this strange paralysis. I struggled
with no success.
I decided to focus on the watery film in front of me to get my
bearings. Slowly things came into focus.
I could just make out a large figure across from me. Sitting at a
desk, typing on a computer keyboard. There was something familiar
about the figure.
Oh my God, it’s Sideshow Dusty and she is giving me away at chat.
Please Dusty give me away to someone who will take me out of the
box but not use me for kitbashing.

 

[gdb]

If you like this one, feel free to vote for my story THE PACKAGE here....
https://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/flashfictionChoice.php

Thanks!



DEADLINES ARE MEANINGLESS TO A ZOMBIE

When the zombies attacked there was no stone unthrown, no plan too crackpot. Plastic was duct taped to windows. Ammo and canned goods were stockpiled. Scientists were culled into brain trusts which in turn became popular buffets for the zombies. In the end it was all for naught.

Which wasn't that bad.

Life as a zombie could be worse. You live forever. It's all the brains you can eat and when the brains dry up it's all doughnuts and pizza because the zombie metabolism is like the hummingbird's -- nonstop.

People don't necessarily associate zombies with high-metabolism. The gait of your typical zombie is so sluggish, so self-satisfied as to amble forward at his or her own natural speed -- and this brings me to my next point: when you're a zombie, no one tells you to hurry. The phrase "I need this by..." is nonexistent. Deadlines are meaningless to a zombie.

This did not sit well with the last human holdout. Holt Stockton was a man of action, a production manager at Deutsch, and as such had no patience for the lolly-gagging existence of zombies, especially in the workplace.

A man of action is always on the move which means Holt is never at ease, or so his mother tried telling him as the zombie virus devolved her power of speech. But it was exactly this restlessness that led to his Omega Man status.

Holt found it fitting to be at the end as he was also at the beginning. A chance blowout on the 101 brought Holt to Westlake Village the day the asteroid smashed into 733 Lakefield Road. There was minimal damage. It wasn't even a half day.

It was happenstance that 733 Lakefield was home to the renowned Sideshow Collectibles. Happenstance that a material in the rock was so unearthly beautiful as to be incorporated in a twelve-inch figure -- the jewel in the Sideshow Exclusive goblet accessory included with their celebrated Eowyn as Dernhelm. Thus the zombie inducing viral agent lacing the meteorite was disseminated amongst the most discriminating and spread from there.

Holt returned to the building under the cover of daybreak, zombies being notorious late-sleepers. His purpose was retrieving the meteorite remains -- the dull husk that, while it may have traveled countless miles across limitless space, was still deemed "not special enough" to be included in a Sideshow Exclusive.

It was within the remaining rock (and with the help of a friendly zombie he had named Professor) that, Holt reasoned, a cure could be derived. His need was great. His plan, perfect. He had accounted for everything.

Everything except for the hard-working employees of Sideshow who even now, zombified beyond all imagining, were working overtime. And so it happened, between adjusting the mole-to-nose ratio on an orc and shading Mark Wahlberg's third nipple, that the last human holdout was eaten.

 

[gonzo]

The Shadow Prince

Officials line the table of a Government War Room. Their eyes trained forward. A General clicks through slides, projecting a ruby red stone fist along the wall. The light emitted from the projector casts harsh shadows.

As the presentation continues, the shadows cast by the men grow taller; bending up across the ceiling.

The General continues his speech, ignorant of the sudden independent movement of the shadows. Slowly, each shadow materializes and wraps an appendage around the throat of the man from whom it originated. The General is joined at his side by his own embodied shadow.

The men gasp for air. Without averting his eyes from the projection, the General grasps the situation. He takes a slow, deep breath and asks, “Prince Klarion; to what do we owe this pleasure?”

The young Prince bellows, “General, I grow tired of playing the waiting game. So I’ve come to propose a new game: truth or consequences. Either you give me an update on my artifact or my men start blowing yours away.” The Shadow Guards materialize further; revealing blaster rifles.

The General rebuts, “Sir, we’ve had our greatest minds analyzing the artifact for months now and we still—“

The Prince interrupts, “You stupid imbecile. You waste my time looking for more questions when you hold the answers in your unworthy hands.”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“I realize that now. So instead of wasting more of my time waiting for you to act, I will set the wheels in motion.” The Prince steps in front of the projection. “Where is the artifact?”

“Safely stored on sub-level 9” Johnson confirms, struggling away from a Guard.

The Prince leans in, “Get it.” Johnson hesitates. “Now!” the Prince barks. A Guard escorts Johnson out.

The men return shortly with the artifact. The Prince snatches it away. “Not so fast” he smirks. The Prince grabs Johnson by his collar and spins him around, slipping the artifact onto his right arm.

“Johnson! No!” the General calls out.

Johnson recoils in the horror. The others can barely look, but muster the strength to gawk at their sacrificial colleague. Johnson withers in pain on the floor. He recovers quickly.

“You OK?” the General inquires. Johnson nods yes. “So what the heck is that thing?”

“Little is known of its origin. What we do know is that its presence will tip the war in the favor of whoever possesses it.” The Prince rips the artifact off Johnson’s arm. “Wait a minute. There’s something inscribed on the inside.” The Prince peers deep into the artifact’s innards. “It reads: ‘Copyright 2004, Sideshow Collectibles’.”

“Um,” the General begins.

The Prince interrupts, “Not. A. Word.” The Prince signals for his Guards to follow him. “We’re leaving!”

The General holds back laughter. “So, um, do you want us to keep working on this orrrr… What?”

The Prince scowls at the General. “Hmmph. Go to Hell!” The Prince and his Guards dematerialize.

“Boy!” the General and his men erupt in laughter.

 

[gonzo]

Attraction

I am being escorted down a dark hallway by a brute of a man. I hesitate to even grant him human status. He’s as much a monster as the “attractions” caged on either side of us. We reach a small card table, dimly light by a makeshift chandelier. Two pint-sized parasites fold their cards as the Ringmaster reaches forward to collect his winnings. He acknowledges my presence and motions towards an overturned trunk that doubles as my chair this evening.

“Is that it? Is that my newest acquisition?” the Ringmaster queries, pointing at the parcel I am palming.

“It might be.” Before handing over anything, I require affirmation that this will be a suitable destination.

“Ah yes, well, let the tour begin, then.”

The Ringmaster and his Cro-Magnon Man guide me through a maze of steel enclosures. I was anticipating a bearded woman or a pig fetus stuffed into a jar. The Ringmaster specializes in more “exotic” attractions.

“We call this one Url. The “h” is silent.” The Ringmaster grabs a fish carcass from a nearby bucket and tosses it into the cage. A hand reaches from behind the shadows and eagerly accepts the delicacy.

“As you can see, our guests are treated with the utmost respect for their… unfortunate conditions.” The Ringmaster pulls a lever. A curtain separates. I now stand eye to eye to eye to eye with the most unfortunate looking creature I’ve ever had the pleasure of walking away from.

I inform the Ringmaster that I am satisfied with the conditions he provides for his “guests”. I suggest that we return to his office and commence the transaction. A smile fills the Ringmaster’s face. I am suddenly reminded of how close he must have come to being on the polar side of one of these cages.

I once again find myself below the beer can chandelier. I’m hesitant to put my parcel down with the Ringmaster’s Yeti breathing his onion breath down my neck. The Ringmaster is anxious to examine the contents.

“Let’s see the little fellow, shall we?”

I’ve exhausted the Ringmaster’s patience. Not wanting to sully the deal, I comply with his wishes and deposit my parcel in the center of the table. The Ringmaster and his goon both lock their eyes on my hands as I peel back the packaging. The Ringmaster runs his tongue across his upper lip.

“It’s disgusting. I love it!” he snarls.

The Ringmaster rolls forward and picks up the Sideshow Collectibles Twilight Zone Gremlin. He holds it above his head, exposing its putrid green pajamas to the light.

“Look, Santos, isn’t he precious?” A single tear streaks down the monster’s face.

No one noticed as I took my leave. If they did, they didn’t try to stop me. I left without accepting the agreed upon commission. But I did not leave empty handed. “Isn’t that right, Url?” I remark as I look down to my left.

“FLAGOOBLEGLOP!” Url agrees.

 

[gdb]

If you like this one, feel free to vote for my story THE PACKAGE here....
https://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/flashfictionChoice.php?&source=022306news

Thanks.

THE SIDESHOW BARKER

"Life is a circus. Welcome to the sideshow!" announced the Barker.

A young couple stopped to listen. "Absolutely no one easily offended by the biological or in possession of delicate dispositions need contemplate our exhibition."

"What's inside?" the woman asked the strange man in colorful clothes.

"A gallery of grotesques, a museum of marvels, a room of rude," the Barker supplied, "culled for your enjoyment from only the most authentic of specimens."

A choice of entrances faced the sweethearts: GENERAL PUBLIC and PRIORITY MEMBERS ONLY. They started for the latter. The Barker stopped them with his cane. His tone turned deadly as he demanded, "Invitation please."

"We’ll take two," the man requested, digging out his wallet.

“An invitation cannot be bought or bargained. They can only be given," the Barker explained, "and only to those deemed deserving."

“Oh, okay," said the man, waiting for what he was sure was a forthcoming invitation.

“We're deserving," prompted the woman with a giggle.

“May I direct you to the guests' entrance or perhaps,” he added disdainfully, "you’ll find the big tent more to your liking."

"Let's get out of here," said that man, irritated.

There was a noise and the Barker's eyes were drawn to the ring toss booth. The prizes were from Sideshow Collectibles and ranged from bobble heads to statues, maquettes, and museum quality Premium Format pieces. Whether the booth sat opposite the Sideshow Barker due to fickle irony or by collusion, it is not for your narrator to speculate.

A scuffle was taking place. The result of which saw the ring toss winner balled up in the mud, his face bloodied. Larger boys laughed as they stripped him of his prize. "Stupid cry baby," they spat.

"What're you gonna do with it?" Asked one of them as they made for the cotton candy booth.

"Sell it on eBay," replied the biggest in the group.

"You!" called out the Barker. "Yes, you sirs! You have qualified for an exclusive invitation."

"Yeah? Big deal," the big one dismissed to sniggers of approval.

"It is a big deal, very much so. You get to meet our talented design team, our conscientious curator," the words practically dripped from the Barker's lips, "our skilled artisans."

"What's it cost?"

"For you, gentlemen," the Barker smiled, "it is gratis." And then, because the boys seemed not to understand, he added, "It means free."

"Why?"

"Because you meet our very particular requirement. You have something we can work with."

The group filed through the Priority Members Only door.

After awhile there was a scream from within the tent and the Barker smiled. "Step right up and see the sideshow," he resumed. "Be among the very first to gaze upon our newest addition -- the scalps of scalpers.

"Life is not a cabaret, my friends -- no!" he bellowed. "It is a circus. Welcome to the sideshow!"

 

[gdb]

Mr. Hall

"It's from Earth," said Vic. "A hologram."

Dumb-bots pulled down the electric banner wishing everyone a prosperous New Year. It wouldn't be for Jarrett Hall if last year was any indicator -- which is how he found himself in a greasy café sitting across from Vic.

"Holograms were made of light,” Jarrett pointed out. "This is plastic and cloth."

"Well it's old, isn't it," Vic explained. "His name," he said proudly, "is Frankenstein!"

Outside, the stars crawled past the moored ships. The space station whirled around them.

"Hey!" the barkeep-bot snapped. "One of you own that green heap?"

"What's it to you?" returned Vic.

"It's too close to my garbage block. Move it or I'll have it towed," he warned.

Vic was unimpressed. "It came from a private collection," he continued. "Stupid rich girl from the Mars family on Albiorix. Real archeological collection. Tough security. Too bad they don't know how to pick their staff."

"It's stolen," observed Jarrett.

"Look who's acting all innocent," Vic squealed. "No worries about the prior owner. Get this, right, she actually hires a drifter. Takes him, cleans him up like -- good as the day he was born. Second chance, all that. Ha! Had it coming, I say. 'Sides," Vic added, wiping excitement mucus from his exhaust pores, "she's an Albiroixian, isn't she. You know what whores they are. Dye their skin orange, silly hairdos, never wearing shirts."

"Let me guess, that drifter was you," ventured Jarrett.

"Not me. Got this here in a wager from Oliver 'the airlock' Muthport on Titan 7. Hell of a player but he's got a tell: cheekbones expand when he's bluffing. Anyway," he turned deadly. "Yes or no?"

"I'll give you 100,000," Jarrett looked him in the eye-stalks and pushed a heavy yellow case toward him, "Not a gobling more."



The stealth door in the luxury quarters morphed open. Jarrett walked through to find the beautiful Corra pacing -- her orange skin radiant in the Venus glow, her multicolor hair worn up in the style of the Picasso in Chicago.

"As gorgeous as ever," Corra said after tense moments of examination. A portal in the wall revealed Dr. Frankenstein's lab in 1:6 scale. "He was made by Sideshow Collectibles, that's all we know about him." She placed Karloff in the lab. "Welcome home, Frank." Then she added, softly, "I missed you.

"You've done well, Mr. Hall. Did it cost the entire 500,000?"

"Yeah," Jarrett lied.

"And the seller?"

He pointed out the green heap from earlier as it awkwardly moved away from the café’s garbage block. He clicked his antique ballpoint twice. There was a bright flash of yellow as the craft imploded.

"There's still 13 pieces missing." She made herself comfortable on a hovering settee, regarded Jarrett and asked, "Do you think you can handle this?"

Jarrett smiled. It was going to be a good year after all.


If you like this one, feel free to vote for my story THE PACKAGE here....
https://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/flashfictionChoice.php

Thanks!

 

[Ironman1188]

Here's mine:

They couldn't stop evolution! He handed out the weapons to his followers as they joined in. Now, en masse, they begin to march toward their destination. The cartons they pass are all stamped SIDESHOW COLLECTIBLES. "I wonder why they do it?", he thought. What reason could be behind their actions? This could not be tolerated. He would see to that. This had been a well thought out plan of attack. Cut off the head of your enemy and the body dies. The same is true of an army. Take out its leader and the minions whither. They had only a rudimentary map from one of their advance scouts. And he had been fortunate to get that back to them after suffering a broken leg. It would be enough though. It would have to be. They could not, no, would not take this lying down. They had come too far. Waited far too long to have been recognized properly to begin with. He led them thru seemingly wide passages, ever diligent to beware of any possible trap. Why were these passages so wide? Had they been planned out like this way back when it was constructed? Strange that they may have foreseen the revolution. Luckily, they moved in darkness. Hints of light glimmered off some of the weapons. It didn't appear that anyone was here to stand in their way. That was good. He had no desire to get into early skirmishes or harm innocent bystanders. He raised his hand for them to "halt". They all hugged the wall in uniform precision. A night watchman meandered by, barely awake, let alone alert enough to have spotted them. He didn't know which of them had been luckier this night. He waited for him to move out of sight then motioned for them to begin advancing again. Corner after corner they rounded, taking more care it seemed as they got closer to their final destination. He could see the door from his position now. It all seemed quiet. Too quiet? The thought of a trap once again occurred to him. Nah, their prey this night was predictable. He would not have foreseen this coming. Still, a chill ran down his back. The kind of chill that tells you this is not going to turn out exactly as you planned. He motioned his followers to be ready. He snuck a glance into the room as they reached the doorway. The door was partially ajar, he could see his prey, asleep in his chair. Typical. So smug. He never thought this day would come. Well, here it was. He signaled for everyone to take their places. They positioned themselves and readied their weapons. Now in front of him, face to face as it were, his prey didn't look so dangerous. He jumped onto him, ready to strike the blow that would allow their line to continue. As he landed a woman's voice called out. "Marc?" It was Dusty, "you still here?' He awoke to find a large collection of Planet of the Apes figures in his office. "Damn that Ironman" Marc thought. He brushed Caesar off his chest and he fell to the floor, head popping off. Damn dirty human.

 

[lcummins]

Ok... entry number one:

The Boxes

I awoke in a sweat! More boxes! Everywhere I looked; more boxes! How did this begin? Where did it start?

I had been collecting Sideshow Collectibles products for a few years, but it was only the last year that things got out of hand! Between the statues, Premium Format figures and busts, the boxes were taking over! Every day seemed like another box showed up. Where would this one go?

Empty boxes filled the garage while statues were displayed. One bedroom filled; boxes lined walls of another bedroom! Boxes sat in hallways, filled closets, tucked behind chairs and in corners!

And then the nightmares started. I would awake in panic, feeling I was surrounded by boxes. I began to think the boxes were multiplying by themselves. I would wake up and see a box I didn’t recognize. That wasn’t there yesterday, or was it? Was I just forgetting having received another box? I began to think my sanity was going!

The nightmares began to grow worse. I would awake and stare into the darkness at large black shapes! They seemed to be on all sides of the bed! Was I going mad, or had the boxes surrounded me? I would squeeze my eyes shut and refuse to look, slowly falling back to sleep. In the morning, the boxes were back where they belonged.

I began to think the boxes were out to get me. What did they want? Were the products inside unhappy at not being displayed? Was the Logan clawing his way out? Was Sauron using the power of the One Ring to seek freedom? My grasp on reality slipped a little each day!

I got to the point of not being able to remember boxes arriving! Narrow passages developed between rows of boxes! I was drowning in boxes! And the nightmares continued! It became a nightly ritual to awaken to the large black shapes surrounding me and I began to feel paralyzed and unable to move when I saw them! I had the feeling of being constricted; almost as if I was tied to the bed! My mind screamed in horror in the terrible silence of the boxes!

They were now everywhere. I had to step over them, walk around them; move them out of the way. They had taken over the house. It was theirs! Not mine!

That night, I awoke as always! The black shapes seemed to meld into one giant box, surrounding me on all sides! The feeling of constriction was more pronounced than ever; I could feel the bands holding me down; around my legs, arms, waist and worst of all, my neck! I began to gasp for air. As I slowly sank into unconsciousness, I gave in, realizing what the boxes wanted! I had become one of them! Just another figure, still in the box, not displayed, tied down with twist ties! I accepted this and knew I had finally come to peace with the boxes…

 

[lcummins]

Entry number two:

The War of the Shelves

They had started slowly, three years ago. By last year they had gained the upper hand and dominated the shelves! They felt triumphant! After all, they were the cream of the crop of the Sideshow Collectibles / Weta collaboration; Lord of the Rings polystone statues! Yes, the busts, helms, weapon sets and environments were displayed also, but they didn’t hold the prominence that the statues did! They grew arrogant in their glory!

But then, the Premium Format figures started arriving! First, the classic monsters started to crowd the shelves. Then more came; Marvel, Bond, Star Trek, and the biggest threat, Star Wars! The statues were no longer happy. They felt they were being squeezed off the shelves! Just who were these upstart ¼ scale figures! This could not be tolerated! They began planning in secret; whispering in the darkness while all were asleep!

Finally, they knew the time had come to set their plan in motion. Already, far too many of them had been boxed and put away. Some of their best fighters and greatest minds were no longer there to help regain the glory! The time was over-ripe to attack!

Both Gandalf the White and Grey stood at the forefront, along side Aragorn, Elrond and Theoden. They commanded and sent their biggest and strongest to challenge the might and size of the premium figures! Cave Troll stood shoulder to shoulder with Balrog! Gandalf upon Shadowfax charged from the left flank; Gothmog on Warg from the right. They knew that in this battle, size was everything!

The Premium Format figures were not taken at unawares! They had heard the whispers in the dark. They had prepared to defend the shelves! They brought up their biggest to oppose the statues! Both the exclusive and regular Jason marched beside the color and SSE Frankenstein! The second rank was filled by Logan, the Green Goblin and Hellboy! They would not go down lightly!

They met in the midst of the shelf; polystone statues on one side, premium format figures on the other. The statues had not anticipated the might of the figures! Jason and Frankenstein towered above all, even the riders! The figures laughed in their perceived, overwhelming might! But then, the statues brought up their secret weapon! Long in the planning, they had always thought to hold him in reserve, but the time was now! He could not be held back! Sauron strode to the fore of the statues and meet the figures face-to-face! Not even Jason was as tall as Sauron! The figures began to waver. They had not expected this! But they too held a secret weapon! They showed the statues the plans for the Premium Format Lord of the Rings figures! The statues were aghast! How could they fight their brethren? The statues faltered! They made peace with the figures, knowing soon, their ¼ scale counterparts would once again rule the shelves!

 

[lcummins]

Entry number three:

William and Clifford

In a box on a shelf there lived an action figure. Not a nasty, wet box, filled with mold and a musty smell, nor yet a dry, bare dusty box with nothing in it but the action figure: it was a Sideshow Collectibles box, and that means quality.
It had a perfectly rectangular panel like a door, printed colors, with a shiny golden Exclusive sticker off to the side. The panel opened on to a windowed plastic tray; a very comfortable tray without twist ties, with formed recesses and holes, provided with lots and lots of accessories – collectors were fond of accessories.

“All right, stop it right there! That would be considered plagiarism and is against the rules!” declared William, “You can’t just rewrite Tolkien and expect them not to notice.”
Clifford looked up from the computer screen and blinked at William, “It’s not plagiarism! It was going to be a tribute to both Tolkien and Sideshow. Anybody with half a brain can see I’m not stealing someone’s idea!”
“Well, you can enter it if you want, but I bet they disqualify you.” William proclaimed as he rolled his eyes and smirked. “Don’t come crying to me when you don’t win!”
Clifford sighed audibly as he returned to the screen. “Well, this is my fourth entry in the Flash Fiction contest, so I’m not really worried if they do disqualify me. I don’t think they will anyway. You’re always so negative; can’t you ever be supportive?”
Now it was William’s turn to sigh. Why did Clifford have to be so stubborn all the time? It seemed like all they ever did was argue. Ever since they had become friends in grade school, most every conversation turned into a debate. “Look, I’m tired of arguing with you. You asked me to give you my opinion and that’s what I’m trying to do. If you don’t want my critique, then don’t ask for it!”
Clifford stopped typing and smiled at William, “Ok, ok, don’t get all huffy about it. I didn’t mean to start anything. You know I value your opinion and besides, I needed someone else to hear it. I’ve read it so many times now I can’t decide anymore!”

Johnny heard his mother call out from the kitchen, “Lunch is ready! Put away those toys and come eat.” He carefully took the two figures he had been playing with and gentle put them back in their boxes. He climbed onto his bed and arranged the two boxes on the high shelf beside the other dozen or so similar boxes already there. As he headed for the door, he turned back toward the two figures and quietly whispered, “I’ll see you again tomorrow William and Clifford. Don’t feel bad that Mom calls you toys, I know you are collectibles.”

 

[lcummins]

Entry number four (and last):

The Tree

The Tree started as a tiny acorn, during the early days of the American Revolution. It grew in majesty with each passing season, watching the children grow and leave behind their toys and childhood play. Each generation brought new children to play at his feet.
Over two hundred years passed, but it seemed like no time to the Tree. He was never alone during all that time, and he loved to have the children swinging from his branches or climbing his limbs, higher and higher, almost to his crown.
Then, a time came when no children came to play. He did not know the reason, but the recession had made times tough for everyone; the large colonial house up on the hill was just too expensive.
The Tree became lonely and would sway back and forth in the breezes listening for the sound of young laughter. For the first time since he sprouted, the years seemed as long as ages!
Thirty long years passed, and the Tree felt his life finally ebbing. He produced fewer leaves each year, and the disease that attacked him, left a gapping hollow in his side. He let his mind drift away and tried to hear the laughter one last time. His branches rose ever so slightly as he imagined the sound he longed to hear.
He was startled from his slumber the next day by the tender touch of a young hand upon his bark. He had not imagined the laughter, it had been real! The boy and his father began to tend the Tree. He felt the life within him burning anew and his desire to continue grew with each passing day.
By the following summer, he was as hale and hearty as he had been in his prime. He grew taller and his branches were held high toward the sun; firm and robust enough to support the swing the father hung from him. The boy played in his peaceful shade, and would climb him and pretend to be a lookout in the crow’s nest of a mighty sailing ship.
One day the boy brought some curious toys to play at the feet of the Tree. They were action figures made by Sideshow Collectibles and the Tree thought them to be marvelous things. The boy had Monster figures which the Tree recognized from toys many years ago. The boy played with the figures every day and the Tree swelled with the mirth that flowed from him.
Finally, the boy began to grow up and did not come as often. One day at the end of fall, the boy brought his figures to the Tree and did a wondrous thing. He placed them in the deep hollow left behind by the disease. He leaned close to the Tree and whispered softly, “Now you’ll never be alone again.” The Tree sighed in the autumn breezes.

 

[tomandshell]

OK folks, these are some great entries! In order to encourage more people to post their stories, I have a little deal for you...

I was lucky enough to have my story chosen as the first runner up, and was awarded a very generous $450 gift certificate from Sideshow. In honor of the $75 "honorable mention" prize that Sideshow is offering through their "Collector's Choice" poll, I would like to share part of my gift certificate with one lucky winner from the board. I would like to purchase one in stock item worth up to $75 and mail it to the author of one of the stories posted in this thread. (A few entries have been posted in other threads--post a copy here as well!)

Will this be a competition? No!! It will be a celebration of the creativity and enthusiasm of our board members. Therefore, instead of having a vote, I will take the post number for each story shared in this thread and choose one number at random out of my Sideshow hat, and that person will be the winner. Sideshow is a company that has shown a great deal of generosity and love for their fans, and hopefully this will be a way of extending that generosity just a little further. The winner will be chosen and posted in this thread next Thursday evening. (I should mention that any of the ten entries currently in the running for the official honorable mention prize will not be eligible here.)

So share your entries here, and don't forget to head to this link before next Wednesday night to cast your vote in the "Collector's Choice" poll. I look forward to reading your stories!

 

[gdb]

YOU DON'T MESS WITH A MAN'S REMOTE


"Why are you taking the cappuccino machine into the men's room?" asked McHenry from his perch near the door.

"Because I missed the Exclusive Luke last month," Neil said explaining everything.

"What," McHenry asked, "are you talking about?"

"From Sideshow Collectibles... The pre-order... Remember?" He coaxed. "Remember? I went the whole day thinking it was Thursday and when I changed the TV and heard it was Friday I screamed because I missed out on the per-order?"

"You threw the remote," said McHenry. "You scared the customers and now the remote doesn't work."

"You remember."

"I remember you broke the remote."

"So I asked myself how can I get that Exclusive Skiff Blaster accessory and eureka!"

"I have to use the VCR remote. Do you know why I hate using the VCR remote?" McHenry asked accusingly.

Without looking up from his laptop the struggling screenwriter supplied, "Doesn't have a channel guide button."

"That‘s right."

"So I've built a time machine in the men’s room so I can go back in time and secure the Exclusive," Neil plowed on ignoring his boss.

"Let's not gloss over this whole broken remote thing.”

"I am moments away from stepping into the men's room and treating the space-time continuum like my own personal urinal. Is a little decorum too much to ask?” Neil implored. “Thank you."

McHenry and the struggling screenwriter exchanged a look before each returned to their work. The sun had come out from behind the tree and McHenry shifted his position to avoid it.

"I did it," Neil said, returning. "I traveled in time."

"That's great. Now the remote should work," reasoned McHenry.

Neil broke it to him, "All I did was place the order Friday morning while the other-me was in the shower.”

"Why didn't you tell the other-you not to break the remote?" demanded McHenry.

"I didn't want to create a paradox."

Disappointed, McHenry sighed and returned to his paperwork.

"Alright, fine!" Neil said. "I'll see what I can do." When he emerged from the men's room again he was exhausted. "Check the VCR remote," he panted before collapsing in a chair. "I went back to the factory and had them add a channel guide button."

"Well, look at that," McHenry said. "And so small. No wonder I overlooked it."

"No. You didn't overlook it, okay? I talked the designer into putting it in just for you.”

“Whatever.”

“I went back in time and all you can say is whatever?!"

“Neil, you go in the men’s room and say you’ve done it but, I mean, where’s the proof? Now if you could go back to, say, 1958 and, I don’t know, have that tree over there planted four-feet this way, well then maybe that would prove something."

Neil’s nostrils flared. "Fine!" he said and stormed into the men's room.

"You're just screwing with him aren't you?" asked the struggling screenwriter.

"You don't mess with a man's remote," McHenry said.



If you like this one, feel free to vote for my story THE PACKAGE here....
https://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/flashfictionChoice.php

Thanks!

 

[Nessasita]

It was a cold November night and after midnight. There was a moonlit sky full of stars. In the middle of the woods stood an ancient mansion. Inside, the fireplace was burning. There was an old woman sitting in a rocking chair. Tears streamed down her face as she was reflecting about her life.

It seemed to have passed by so quickly. Why did she end up alone? She realized, she was not alone, she looked around and she smiled. Passion appeared into her green eyes. There they were. All off her Sideshow Collectibles Lord of the Rings statues. Oh she loved those statues more than anything in the world. They were the children that she never had. The only love that never let her down. They never left her to go buy some cigarettes and never to return.

Then why was she feeling this pain in her heart. She felt like a piece was missing. Her eyes filled up with tears. The doctor who visited earlier today gave her bad news. She was going to die. She had one more week to live.

She realized that she is going to have to leave this world without being able to complete her wonderful collection. She was never able to find a Cave Troll Statue. She was never able to unpack the statue. Hold it in her tiny hands, smell the polystone, feel the power and the love of the artwork that the artist gave it when he made it. Her eyes filled up with tears.

Meanwhile, across the country, something strange happened. Charwen was sound asleep, having a dream, so real, about a dying woman missing this piece in her collection. He woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. Was this all a dream? Or was it reality? The next morning he decided to do something about it. Because he remembered all the details of his dream, he was able to track down information about the old woman. He and his colleague Dusty decided to go on a little road trip like Thelma and Louise to see if his dream was real.

They drove non stop for days, until they finally arrived at the mansion. The butler opened the door, brought Charwen and Dusty upstairs to the dying woman’s bedroom. She was surrounded by all her statues. She could not talk anymore. Charwen quickly ran outside and came back with a huge box. Yes, it was the Cave Troll statue. Her eyes sparkled like flames, so full of life. With her last strength she was able to unpack the Cave Troll. She smiled. She looked at Charwen and Dusty, tears rolling down her face. This was the happiest day in her life. With the Cave Troll in her arms… she closed her eyes forever.

 

[Darth Loki]

Yet another losing entry. KOTOR fans should like this though.

Long and hard had my search been. From when I first heard rumors during my Jedi training on Dantooine, I knew my destiny lied with the search for this "rumored" rare and priceless artifact. No one knew where the artifact was located, how it even came to existence, or even what it looked like, but they all knew just how awesome it would look in their living room. It is even rumored that the great Sith Lord Darth Revan was close to discovering the location of the artifact when he stumbled onto the Star Maps that lead him to the location of the Star Forge. I would not be distracted from my quest so easily.
After many years on many planets I found myself on the Sith home planet of Korriban where many relics and artifacts had been buried in the tombs of the Sith Lords. My stay on Korriban was short, but as it turns out, crucial. In the tomb of Exar Kun was an encrypted message. After hours of meditating and concentration with no results, I let the frustration and anger consume me. I knew it wasn't the Jedi way but after only a few moments the answer was clear. The message revealed the coordinates of my first break in uncovering the location of the Ultimate Artifact.
I plugged the coordinates into my ship's Navi-Computer without any idea of where it would take me. With great surprise I shortly arrived at my destination, the swampy planet of Dagobah. It had been said for centuries that Dagobah was a cursed planet. However, I knew it was something more. As soon as I set foot on the soft, moist ground a familiar feeling came over me. The same feeling that lead me to uncover the encrypted message on Korriban. I should've abandoned the search then, but I'd come too far to stop now. With the Force as a guide, it let me to a cave underneath a tree that radiated energy. I knew that this place held the key to unlocking the mystery of the Ultimate Artifact. As I entered the cave a vision came over me, that of a Sith Lord. He had horns all around his head and a red and black tattooed face. He uttered three simple words to me “Collect for Life”, and was gone. I rushed back to my ship and entered the same three words in the computer and the results were breathtaking. A site appeared and there on the home page was the same Sith Lord that I saw in my vision. Only this was a life size bust from Sideshow Collectibles. I had finally found the “rumored” Ultimate Artifact. Thank you Sideshow, because you proved everyone right, it will look awesome in my living room.


Anyway, congrats Tom. And thanks for your generosity.

 

[pitchin]

Here's mine short but was kinda last minute & it is definitely under 500 words

The Decision

Bob sits alone in a darkened room. All his senses focused on the screen. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face. On the desk beside him sits several half-empty cups. He reaches out his right arm and grabs the cup closest to him & takes a drink. His face contorts “yuk……cold coffee” Bob winces as he spits the contents back into the cup. Looking upon his shelves, he reflects on past victories that he won from Sideshow Collectibles. His prized trophies lovingly adorned on his bookcases. Each item bringing back floods of memories.

A smile spreads across his face as a thought that had long been forgotten surfaced. The sweet smell of fresh popcorn, the sugary taste of his soda, the print on his cinema ticket rubbing off on his fingers it was all beginning to come back to him. The curtain rolls up, the music starts and he was doomed to watch all three films.

The hand that is holding the coffee cup begins to tremble, slowly at first then quickly becoming more frantic. A decision has to be made and he knows it but what to decide? How could he risk it all? How did it come to this?

Times up…..decision time. Bob draws a deep breath and makes a choice and sits back in his chair. The burden of responsibility has been lifted. Euphoria sets in and he drinks some more coffee.

The coffee cup crashes to the floor and smashes. Tears stream down his face, what began as a drop is now a flood. Sinking to his knees on the floor he mutters “Why, why, why…..” Regaining his footing and sits back on his chair he continued “Why did I choose the red door?”