Joke Thread

[hydrobud]

If one already exists , gimme a link and I'll delete this one.


Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spotted survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did. When they were both stuffed, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the Sh$t inside!"

 

[Intruder04]

DC cineverse

 

[RIDDICK]

The Josh and CelticPredator walk into a bar...

 

[BB&WSF]

Yes, there is: SSF Joke Thread


Since, this one has started....



Two men are having a drink in a bar. One says: "You know, I've never really understood what a dilemma is..."

"Let me tell you a story," says the other man,

"Imagine you wake up in a bed with two people next to you. To your left is an incredibly beautiful woman willing to have sex with you and to your right is a very horny gay man."

"So where's the dilemma?" replies the first man.

"Well..........which one do you turn your back on???

 

[averagejo]

I hope I don't get bad rep points for this...


(Beware adult content)

Spoiler:

What did the right p**** lip say to the left p**** lip?

"We used to be really tight until you let that d*** come between us."

 

[Kibagami]

I hope I don't get bad rep points for this...


(Beware adult content)

Spoiler:

What did the right p**** lip say to the left p**** lip?

"We used to be really tight until you let that d*** come between us."

 

[Solidus]

The Josh and CelticPredator walk into a bar...

 

[hydrobud]

I hope I don't get bad rep points for this...


(Beware adult content)

Spoiler:

What did the right p**** lip say to the left p**** lip?

"We used to be really tight until you let that d*** come between us."

I'm still out off rep points !

 

[crows]

that made me laugh harder than I expected

 

[Cap'n Cook]

What sits in the kitchen getting smaller and smaller?

Spoiler:

A baby brushing its hair with a potato peeler.

 

[crows]

Yes, there is: SSF Joke Thread


Since, this one has started....



Two men are having a drink in a bar. One says: "You know, I've never really understood what a dilemma is..."

"Let me tell you a story," says the other man,

"Imagine you wake up in a bed with two people next to you. To your left is an incredibly beautiful woman willing to have sex with you and to your right is a very horny gay man."

"So where's the dilemma?" replies the first man.

"Well..........which one do you turn your back on???

this all Really depends on how beautiful the woman is..... Like, how worth it is it going to turn your back on the guy....

 

[crows]

Yes, there is: SSF Joke Thread


Since, this one has started....



Two men are having a drink in a bar. One says: "You know, I've never really understood what a dilemma is..."

"Let me tell you a story," says the other man,

"Imagine you wake up in a bed with two people next to you. To your left is an incredibly beautiful woman willing to have sex with you and to your right is a very horny gay man."

"So where's the dilemma?" replies the first man.

"Well..........which one do you turn your back on???

this all Really depends on how beautiful the woman Really is..... Like, how worth it is it going to turn your back on the guy....

 

[RavenEye]

this all Really depends on how beautiful the woman Really is..... Like, how worth it is it going to turn your back on the guy....

Better question is how drunk were you to wake up to a threesome?

 

[hydrobud]

a guy robs a bank and takes hostages.
he says to the first hostage, did you see me rob the bank?
the hostage says, yes,and the robber shoots him in the head.
the robber says to the second hostage, did you see me rob the bank?
the second hostage says, no, but my wife did.

 

[Lejuan]

A woman walks into a butcher's shop and asks for a rabbit. The butcher replies that he doesn't have any rabbits, just hares.

The woman says, "that's a little larger than I need - do you think you could cut one in half for me?"

The butcher says, "sorry lady, we don't split hares here"

 

[hydrobud]

Last fall, a group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge…So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

“Hey Baby….. whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”

While he didn’t want to appear ‘sensitive’, George also didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either so he asked…

“Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe… Why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that… And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether the person jumped or was pushed!

 

[crows]

 

[Lejuan]

Atoms just can't be trusted - they make up everything!

 

[BB&WSF]

Don't know about the 'intellectual' bit, but some are quite funny...

 

[Buttmunch]

Love the Pavlov one