i need advise on a tough subject.

[turtlepower73]

you all know when you have jobs and work with people. like it or not you become close to and the sort of in someways become family with some of your coworkers because you are around them so much..
my boss and friend committed suicide tuesday and it's just driving me crazy because i just can't believe it..i talked to him that day and now he is no longer with us all.

 

[karamazov80]

Damn. If this is having a serious affect on you, the only advice I would give is to maybe seek out and speak with a grief counselor. Sucks.

 

[RagingBull]

Damn. If this is having a serious affect on you, the only advice I would give is to maybe seek out and speak with a grief counselor. Sucks.

Definitely, that's terrible. My wife lost a work friend last year unexpectedly. She went home sick on the Fri & passed away over the weekend. My wife was devastated, the best thing is to talk about it. I'm really sorry & I hope you get the help you need

 

[diecast]

something similar happened at my workplace recently. at my place they brought in grief counselors if anyone needed to speak with them. id imagine any halfway decent workplace would do the same.

there are better people to talk to than us. id suggest you go talk to one, be it through your employer or otherwise.

 

[Kibishii]

Our 18 month old very suddenly passed away in April, 2008 and it completely devastated us. We ended up leading a grief support group at our church for three years before 'retiring' last year. During those years, we met many parents, friends, and siblings of suicides. My wife continues to be contacted for grief counseling through the church.

That said, I would highly recommend contacting a grief counselor. Even if you are not "religious", many cities have Griefshare meetings where you will meet other people who have experienced loss.

Three things that I would really recommend:

1. Avoid the "what ifs" because they will accomplish nothing and only bring you to a bad place
2. Don't compare grief
3. Remember that everyone grieves differently; especially women & men

 

[intothevoid]

That really sucks - definitely make use of any counselling being made available to you dude, hope you feel better and that the loved ones affected pull through this tough time.

 

[agen_kolar]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I was actually thinking about a good friend today, who was killed in his car by a falling tree. It brought back some emotions I haven't experienced in a while. I hadn't realized it's been almost ten years since his death.

There's some good advice in here. You should definitely talk with a grief counselor.

 

[The Skull]

Our 18 month old very suddenly passed away in April, 2008 and it completely devastated us. We ended up leading a grief support group at our church for three years before 'retiring' last year. During those years, we met many parents, friends, and siblings of suicides. My wife continues to be contacted for grief counseling through the church.

That said, I would highly recommend contacting a grief counselor. Even if you are not "religious", many cities have Griefshare meetings where you will meet other people who have experienced loss.

Three things that I would really recommend:

1. Avoid the "what ifs" because they will accomplish nothing and only bring you to a bad place
2. Don't compare grief
3. Remember that everyone grieves differently; especially women & men

Thats heartbreaking, sorry to hear that and sorry for the lose of your co-worker turtlepower. I too resently had a lost as my wife had a miscarrage of our first baby, We had been trying for a long time to start a family and was so excited that it was going to happen and told everybody about it. Then this happened and I wish I had'nt told anybody we were expecting cause as We run in to everyone we told I have to explain what happened and it kills me to talk about it.

Again sorry for your loss.

 

[The Ween]

you all know when you have jobs and work with people. like it or not you become close to and the sort of in someways become family with some of your coworkers because you are around them so much..
my boss and friend committed suicide tuesday and it's just driving me crazy because i just can't believe it..i talked to him that day and now he is no longer with us all.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Suicides are so hard because most of the time they leave you asking, "Why?"

Big hugs to you, turtle.

 

[Lejuan]

Suicide must be the toughest of losses for friends and loved ones to come to terms with. My best mate from high school ended his own life a few years back. I never even knew he was depressed. How can that be? Sound advice from Kabishii. I'm sorry for your loss Turtle.

 

[crows]

yeah I was going to ask if the company has some kind of counseling or something, you need to talk to someone about this, someone professional.

 

[Dingo]

lost a co-worker/friend to suicide not long ago, married with 2 teenage sons, looked hard as nails, we knew he was struggling with depression, and he decided to end it one friday night, left me angry and confused, depression affects alot of people in this day and age

 

[cplhicks]

I am so sorry for you loss.

I agree with everybody here in seeking some form of support to help you with these trying times.

My dad attempted suicide and my mom had to resuscitate him while the ambulance came. Suicide has a such a large and profound impact on those that the person leaves behind. I hope you will come to terms with this loss on your own time.

 

[ZaCHw117]

Whoa, tuff deal. I understand because I'm so close with some of my fellow associates.

Definitely just talk to people. It helps.

 

[thenammagazine]

Damn. If this is having a serious affect on you, the only advice I would give is to maybe seek out and speak with a grief counselor. Sucks.

I don't want to get into another debate with Shell about suicide being selfish, but these are the types of things those who take their own lives don't consider. If it's bothering you that much, take Kara's advice.

 

[Voorhees27]

I don't want to get into another debate with Shell about suicide being selfish, but these are the types of things those who take their own lives don't consider. If it's bothering you that much, take Kara's advice.

100% agreed. I can't imagine the pain some endure but there really is no fair excuse to commit suicide. The pain it causes when you're gone is almost like a domino effect that lasts a lifetime.

Sorry for your loss Turtle

 

[crows]

sometimes you really feel like you have no control of your life and you have no way out, I have never had those kind of thoughts but I have had moments when I cannot take it anymore, where things are so hard you just cant handle it, you cant see a way out,
is really hard because you will never know why they did it, and you wish you could have talked to them, you feel helpless when someone takes their life away, death is never the answer, but life can be pretty hard too, can overwhelm some people

 

[azurepred]

100% agreed. I can't imagine the pain some endure but there really is no fair excuse to commit suicide. The pain it causes when you're gone is almost like a domino effect that lasts a lifetime.

Sorry for your loss Turtle

Good point, most prolly don't think about that enough, that being said, turtle needs to talk to someone who can really help.

 

[Armageddon]

My condolence to you and everyone else
Life is hard. worst thing is to hold it in
I would seek some help to atleast talk about it.

 

[Adoptedscot]

you all know when you have jobs and work with people. like it or not you become close to and the sort of in someways become family with some of your coworkers because you are around them so much..
my boss and friend committed suicide tuesday and it's just driving me crazy because i just can't believe it..i talked to him that day and now he is no longer with us all.

I'm so sorry to hear this turtle.

Unfortunately there is no rule book or directions in how to deal with the aftermath of a suicide. Everyone grieves and deals (and sometimes not) with these things differently, so you have to find something that will help you personally.
A few great suggestions have been made already. If you work for a large firm they may have counsellors, not necessarily grief counsellors but they may help. There may be suicide 'help' groups near you for families and friends of those who had done the deed. There are also many books available on how to help and to offer advice if you prefer to go through it alone or if you are religious I'm sure some comfort can be found at your local church.

There are many options out there for help, please don't be afraid to ask them.

I hope you can find a way through this turtle, don't forget to look after yourself and take care.
All the best to you and to all those who have lost someone.
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