How do you protect your collection before you get married? Divorce can kill a hobby!

[CombustedGremlin]

OK...I've got a serious question for everybody. I know alot of collectors here are married. I'm not. I'm at the age where I'm considering getting serious. My concern is that I have a HUGE collection of comics, action figures, statues, DVDs, and other geek-related goodness. How the heck do you go about protecting your collection if things ever went sour in a marriage? I honestly dread the idea that if I had to get a divorce, the ex would be entitled to half my stuff. Good God, I have customs and a ton of irreplacable items. I know about prenuptial agreements, but am not sure how well they hold up. Also, how the hell do I protect my collection when I add new stuff AFTER getting married? This is a major hiccup for me and I'd love to hear what fellow collectors have to say.

Thanks gang!

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood Gremlin

 

[mr.thrifty]

Who said you have to get married to be "serious"??

 

[automaton]

i may have a better understanding if you posted photos of this collection....

 

[CombustedGremlin]

Eh....y'know. I eventually want to have a family and don't want bastard kids out of wedlock. lmfao. I'll likely have my PhD in a year or so and the next logical step for me is marriage and a family. ^_^;

 

[CombustedGremlin]

Roflmao. I need to take some fresh pictures. It's alot though. My stash took over the folk's house in NJ and my apartment at Penn State. Lots of goodies though!! I swear! lol

 

[EVILFACE]

Prenuptial Agreement

 

[CombustedGremlin]

What about after you're married? It's not like I'm going to get married and stop collecting. How the heck do you lay out the stipulations in a prenup? Has anybody done this already? I'm all ears! lol

 

[shocktrooper_au]

smash her half!

 

[Murderofcrows71]

Well if you go into a relationship that worried about if it's gonna fail, I think you should rethink getting married. I was with my fiance for a number of years before getting married. That whole time I made it painfully clear that while I might slow down on buying every collectible I want comics and movies are part of who I am. I have a good job, I drink rarely, don't smoke or have any bad habits I have to spend cash on. She understands that collecting and customizing are my "thing". While she don't get it, or understand it, she does understand it's something I like and in fact bought us tickets for the C2E2 back in April in Chicago for my birthday. As for a prenup, I think she'd leave me my stuff if we did separate, because 1. she doesn't understand the value of it, and 2. has no interest not even knowing who half the characters are. I know divorce gets messy and people don't think rationally during one, but stuff can be replaced, missing out on the right one in your life can't

 

[Trustey]

A single guy with enough disposable income to collect this stuff is better off staying single. You have a lot more fun. Serious relationships are such a pain in the ass it's really nice to be able to say "saya-Fin-nara baby I'm out!" whenever they throw their inevitable little fits.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

Karate Chop is appropriate.

 

[316what]

What you have before the marriage cannot be considered personal property, however it can differ slightly from state to state.

And if you get married and it ends badly, you can bet yer azz you won't have to worry about your collection....especially if you're the one who screwed up. She'll probably destroy your collection in a ragefest because it will be an easy way to "hurt" you.

But like others have said, if this is a concern for you before getting married, you should probably rethink the getting married part.

 

[Master Wayne]

A single guy with enough disposable income to collect this stuff is better off staying single. You have a lot more fun. Serious relationships are such a pain in the ass it's really nice to be able to say "saya-Fin-nara baby I'm out!" whenever they throw their inevitable little fits.

This man know what's up.

 

[occulum]

when you find somebody worth marrying ... you'll know you have nothing to worry about with your collection.

 

[creature4000]

Prenuptial Agreement

seriously.. what a crazy question. If you think things like this now.. DON'T GET MARRIED!

 

[karamazov80]

Prenups can protect some of what you have going into the marriage, but I don't know if there is anything you can do to ensure that what you buy during a marriage is yours exclusively. At least, not unless you have Donald Trump's lawyers. Like 316 says, she would probably destroy your stuff if things went sour, anyway.

Marriage involves a lot of sacrifice, and key amongst those sacrifices is the idea that your material possessions mean much in the grand scheme of things. Once you have a spouse and child(ren), and an actual new life, you might find that your perspective on things change and the collectibles, nice as they are to collect as a hobby, really don't mean ____ anymore.

So, if collectibles seem more important to you than making your potential relationship work, I would agree with others and say that you should hold off on marriage until your view changes. People get married far too frivolously, IMO, and the poor kids out there without stable homes are the victims.

 

[Darth Snoopy]

when you find somebody worth marrying ... you'll know you have nothing to worry about with your collection.

Gotta agree with Occulum here.

When you find someone deserving of your affections all else will fall into place, IMO.

 

[LaMelnik]

Been there and done that.

Married - All was good. Divorced - Judge ordered me to sell everything and give half of the $$$ earned to the Ex.

I had an amazing collection but she had a better lawyer and the judge was in a foul mood that day.

If you are that worried about your collection, then prenup and get insurance on it. This way she can't claim it in a divorce (only the stuff bought during the marriage).

If you do a prenup, list every single item on paper and attach it to that prenup. With the insurance, do the same but also make sure you list everything that was bought after getting married. This say you know what she can go after.

As others have said, if you are worried about your stuff before getting married, then maybe you should wait until it is not as important as the woman you want to spend your life with.

But make sure whoever you marry understands how important your collection means to you up front.

 

[Adoptedscot]

If you're thinking about your collection in the event of divorce before you are even engaged/married, you are not ready to be married in the first place imo.
x

 

[SnakeDoctor]

OK...I've got a serious question for everybody. I know alot of collectors here are married. I'm not. I'm at the age where I'm considering getting serious. My concern is that I have a HUGE collection of comics, action figures, statues, DVDs, and other geek-related goodness. How the heck do you go about protecting your collection if things ever went sour in a marriage? I honestly dread the idea that if I had to get a divorce, the ex would be entitled to half my stuff. Good God, I have customs and a ton of irreplacable items. I know about prenuptial agreements, but am not sure how well they hold up. Also, how the hell do I protect my collection when I add new stuff AFTER getting married? This is a major hiccup for me and I'd love to hear what fellow collectors have to say.

Thanks gang!

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood Gremlin

Generally speaking, it isn't a good thing if you're looking for a smooth way out before you even start. I'm on board with the guy who said you may not be ready. Looking for an escape route in what should be a lifetime commitment doesn't bode well.

That being said, it depends somewhat on the marital property laws in the state you live in. (I am an attorney in Texas, but I don't do family law. Most of this is from a law school class about a decade ago. I got a B+, so you're looking at an 85%-correct answer here ... mileage may vary).

(1) In almost all cases, property that is owned by an individual before the marriage is considered separate property, and cannot be taken by the spouse if a marriage dissolves. The stuff you own before the marriage is yours. Gifts (either from her to you, or from someone else to you) are also separate property. However ... if she's really pissed off, marital property laws cannot stop her from smashing your crap with a hammer.

(2) Property acquired during the marriage with community funds are a different story entirely. You bought it with community funds .. what's yours is hers, and it can be divided according to marital property laws in a divorce (i.e. you could lose some or all of it).

The best tip is to marry someone you want to stay with for life. Makes the whole thing simpler.

SnakeDoc