How do I explain...?

[El Roranous]

I don't want to derail this thread but I do want to explain why I didn't call my mother on mothers day. I really don't believe in loveing someone just because they are your parent or related to you. You must always earn love an respect. My mother abandoned me when I was younger. I don't forgive easily. We talk every once in a while but I don't think I love her. It's hard for me to say that to just anyone.

Now back to parents disapproving.

 

[tylerd]

Sorry guys if I was or am offensive. I consider MesaScott to be a good friend on here. He is very respectful and always a pleasure. I get carried away with my rants sometimes so don't mind me unless you think what I say is valid. I do talk to all my friends this way so hopefully you all can understand how I am.

no problem rory. your photo explains it all.

 

[El Roranous]

no problem rory. your photo explains it all.

I don't know what I would do if that was really me. I might be terrified to look in the mirror. At least the my disfigured monster is on the inside.

 

[uscmhicks]

tell him , you like them and you really would prefer the to stay.
Maybe if they bother him that much you should sell some and buy some gigantic cardboard cutouts ...
in a week he will want the others back...

 

[El Roranous]

Seems we all just get caught up in the "Got to have it" mind set. This is just our form of cocaine that can be just as destructive financially and psychologically. Just my 2 cents folks.

Not to push this too far but...


How many of us are putting things off to the side to be on this forum to talk about toys? How many of us are staying up to wait for the newsletter instead of spending times with our family and friends? How many of us are embarrassed to mention how much something costs when asked? How many of us feel we have to miss work or school to priority pre order an item or accept a package at home? How many of us check ebay regularly for things we are missing or just to see how much something is worth compulsively? How many of us worry about leaving for vacation because of our collections? How many of us don't have money for other things because we have to have that new Iron Man bust?

Disorder- 2 : to disturb the regular or normal functions of


Just saying.

 

[tylerd]

Not to push this too far but...


How many of us are putting things off to the side to be on this forum to talk about toys? How many of us are staying up to wait for the newsletter instead of spending times with our family and friends? How many of us are embarrassed to mention how much something costs when asked? How many of us feel we have to miss work or school to priority pre order an item or accept a package at home? How many of us worry about leaving for vacation because of our collections? How many of us don't have money for other things because we have to have that new Iron Man bust?

Disorder- 2 : to disturb the regular or normal functions of


Just saying.

no doubt, collecting is an addiction and it can hurt you if you don't have it under control.

 

[Darth Caedus]

Not to push this too far but...


How many of us are putting things off to the side to be on this forum to talk about toys? How many of us are staying up to wait for the newsletter instead of spending times with our family and friends? How many of us are embarrassed to mention how much something costs when asked? How many of us feel we have to miss work or school to priority pre order an item or accept a package at home? How many of us check ebay regularly for things we are missing or just to see how much something is worth compulsively? How many of us worry about leaving for vacation because of our collections? How many of us don't have money for other things because we have to have that new Iron Man bust?

Disorder- 2 : to disturb the regular or normal functions of


Just saying.

Funny you mention that, because right now I'm studying for finals.....

 

[El Roranous]

Again, I really like you guys. I would even be proud to call most of you my friends if we ever really met up in person. however, I do believe most of us suffer from this disorder. Oh well, no one is perfect.

 

[IrishJedi]

Speak for yourself. I have complete control over my collecting (now... it wasn't that way a few years ago). This is a choice of a hobby for me and is completely harmless and I could quit at any time. But I do agree that it's become OCD for many.

 

[El Roranous]

I agree that it can be a healthy hobby for some people but it can also be crippling for others. It's all about how much control one can have over their own desires and flaws. In any case, I think the collector has to understand why they collect and the results of their actions pass the point of immediate.

 

[photoshopmagician]

I agree that it can be a healthy hobby for some people but it can also be crippling for others. It's all about how much control one can have over their own desires and flaws. In any case, I think the collector has to understand why they collect and the results of their actions pass the point of immediate.

I agree with that statement. Like you said, if someone doesn't have any control it can become an addiction and it can ruin friendships and relationships. However, there are others who have control and it can strengthen relationships. Getting back on track with parents disapproving, mine really don't. If anything, their proud of what I've collected, and realize the potential of them increasing in value.

If anything, it's brought me and my dad closer because we go to Comic Con every year, and I'm the one chasing after him

It all matters how much control you have, because if you really think about it, if we're not "wasting" time on here, we could be wasting it somewhere else. So I don't see it as a waste if you have control. My 2 cents

 

[Wetanut]

You can't explain....at least never enough to their satisfaction.

It's not necessarily a generational thing really -- it's more of an ingrained parental thing. I'm of your father's generation and really, we aren't nearly as focused on acquiring tangible proof of our stability and personal value as my OWN parents' generation (Depression and WWII). Remember, my generation grew up in the 60's and early 70's -- with all the implications thereof . In fact, I'm the one that turned my son onto collecting high-end SS stuff. And despite my own collecting mania, I catch myself asking my son if he really NEEDS to buy whatever he is buying and can he really afford it with his college loan, mortgage, car payments, gas, lack of savings, yada yada. We don't mean to be judgemental -- really -- it's just that we've been responsible for your welfare for so long, it's developed into a reflex. And we don't want you make bad choices (like we did and learned from). We can't help it....we care.

So, unless you're having your own doubts/guilt about what you are buying (in lieu of some other thing that you "know" you should get or do -- which is a whole 'nuther topic on whether one is TRULY addicted to the point of harm), then there's no point in even trying to explain.

 

[dunedain]

~~none of my GFs have ever understood why i spend so much money on my collection either.

I can relate to that.

 

[galactiboy]

Its true any hobby or activity can become a crippling compulsion, obsession or even addiction. People that exercise too much, buy too much stuff or gamble away their livelyhoods. Its all about balance IMO, its good to have interests, hobbies and fun distractions. But (as has been pointed out) when it starts to interfere with other parts of your life (family, work, finances) it can then be moving from healthy to harmful.

As for my collecting and my family they are (even across generations) very supportive and interested. My mom is a scifi geek, got me hooked early on SW, Star Trek and others while a lot of the rest of my family is very interested in art and music.

As a funny example of this, last year when I got married was the first time my Grandmother and Great Aunt were able to visit my home in close to 7 years. They came into my office to look at the collection and mentioned how they liked the collection. And my Great Aunt Simone (who is in her 80's) looked at the HT Predator 2 figure and said "that one is my favorite, he looks really powerful."

No idea who the character was, but just connected with how he looked... sometimes I think my family is more kickass than I deserve.

 

[The Mike]

My wife never understood why I spent so much on my collections either but never really complained when a piece was sold. She has learned to appreciate the cost of this hobby and even encourages me to look for a good deal. My Grey Hulk purchase was applauded by her after seeing what I could have paid on the secondary market for it.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

you got to pay to play seriously, i think everyone here has valid points. as long as you aren't up to your neck in credit card bills having a hobby is fine. i've always collected one thing or another.... from old Gamepro magazines when i was a kid to comic books when i was a teenager.
~~~here's something funny about obsession---- my brother plays world of warcraft and shadowbane every night for about 5-6 hours. this is all he does, doesn't drink, drugs, or anything else. he just has two computers going with both games on simultaneously. but he makes fun of my collecting of "toys" calls me a loser and what not because all the stuff is worthless and a waste of time. ***ironic??

 

[El Roranous]

you got to pay to play seriously, i think everyone here has valid points. as long as you aren't up to your neck in credit card bills having a hobby is fine. i've always collected one thing or another.... from old Gamepro magazines when i was a kid to comic books when i was a teenager.
~~~here's something funny about obsession---- my brother plays world of warcraft and shadowbane every night for about 5-6 hours. this is all he does, doesn't drink, drugs, or anything else. he just has two computers going with both games on simultaneously. but he makes fun of my collecting of "toys" calls me a loser and what not because all the stuff is worthless and a waste of time. ***ironic??

That is pretty funny. You should call him Mr. Pott when he calls you black.

 

[Mesa]

Wow, just catching up since last night. Good stuff from everyone. I'm certainly not allowing this hobby to put me into any sort of financial hardship, but that's only because I've been lucky in life and worked hard to get a good job. I could never afford collecting this stuff in my "younger" days (I still think I'm young now). When I first started this collecting, it was a little bit of a problem, but only because I didn't know what to focus on and bought too many lines (fortuantely they weren't as high dollar as sideshow is). Now I'm still trying to unload some of that earlier stuff as I can find time for. Since then I've tried to settle on just a few lines, and even that's sometimes hard to do because so much stuff looks too cool.

As far as my father is concerned, it's not that I'm "afraid" of his judgement or dissaproval of my habits, but I did feel a little embarrased when he walked into my office and I had SSW LOTR boxes covering the walls. I'm still trying to get a home project done and some good display shelves setup to properly display these pieces. When they sit in their boxes along a wall, I don't think an outsider can really understand or appreciate what's inside and they do just look like toys. I think once these are unboxed and behind glass with good lighting, any observer will admire them. Until then, I don't really feel like showing others what I've been collecting.

And yes Rory, you are right about this hobby becoming crippling. It is a little sad that I sit in front on my computer on Thursday nights for as long as it takes for the newsletter to come up and don't do anything else till it appears/ At work is the same, I'm always spot checking Ebay and the freaks site. But I work circles around most of my other co-workers, so I don't feel too bad about it. I've always had an addictive personality, whether it be collecting when younger, studying in school, partying when in college (thankfully I never tried too much of the hard stuff); everything with me is done to the extreme. But I still make time for going out at least once a week to hang with friends. Those same friends go out to the bars/clubs 4-5 times a week; one night usually ends up by costing me at least $60 and most of the next day. So I figure I could be spending my money on a lot worse.

My father just drove cross country for a vacation, so he doesn't get to visit too often. I really wish he could have seen my place in a few months when I plan to have everything setup. Oh well, still enjoying his stay here now. We are currently in Williams AZ and will be hiking in Bryce and Zion Utah in another day for a few days before he continues his journey without me.