Something Sexy
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I know can't wait til next Thursdayword.
Anyone ever have to relocate because of their spouse?
- Thread starter ChrisCJ99
- Start date
Help Support Collector Freaks Forum:
gbtv01
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Smartest answer here, she is nothing put a pain to you in more ways then one, you are always writing here about what thing, be it bad or good, mostly bad that she is doing to you now. It seems that you are growing up and she is still a little girl...
and MAN, you are in LA, women are everywhere!
You need to break up with this girl once and for all, move on, don't look back and don't get all wrapped up in a relationship until you're out of college.
This girl is what is holding you back from growing into a "man". she represents your home town and your formitave/younger years. you had the courage to leave the safety of all that and go out on your own, but she obiviously lacks that ability to do that.
You keep asking for advise but fail in following it. (you've heard the saying?)..."if I only knew now what I knew then"? it's hard to do but, listen...
You know the situtation is F'd up, you knew it before and you know it now; but instead of breaking free you grabed hold of it even tighter and proposed...
It's time to cut the ties and move on. trust me... in a few years you will look back and say to yourself... "WTF was I thiking".
Do what you will......
Smartest answer here, she is nothing put a pain to you in more ways then one, you are always writing here about what thing, be it bad or good, mostly bad that she is doing to you now. It seems that you are growing up and she is still a little girl...
and MAN, you are in LA, women are everywhere!
SnakeDoctor
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I couldn't disagree more. Self-centeredness rarely leads to happiness. Relationships require compromise ... if she's important, she's worth compromising with. If she's not worth compromising with, then go ahead and leave her.
As for the long-distance-sex-thing ... quantity is as important as quality. Its likely better to have good sex three times a week than great sex twice a year.
It is true that regret is a bad thing -- but what if he ends up regretting dumping the girl?
SnakeDoc
Don't compromise. Follow your dream. She should understand that if she loves you. And anyway, what's so bad about a long distance relationship? Better sex IMHO!
I couldn't disagree more. Self-centeredness rarely leads to happiness. Relationships require compromise ... if she's important, she's worth compromising with. If she's not worth compromising with, then go ahead and leave her.
As for the long-distance-sex-thing ... quantity is as important as quality. Its likely better to have good sex three times a week than great sex twice a year.
There are few things worse than regret, you need to follow your dream while you can.
It is true that regret is a bad thing -- but what if he ends up regretting dumping the girl?
SnakeDoc
Eli26
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Should have never given them the vote. Big mistake.
Should have never given them the vote. Big mistake.
Skiman
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Chris, I was worried whenever I saw your FS thread about a special engagement and selling the items in order to fund this... Honestly I believe you know my thoughts about this...
My wife today would move anywhere with me on the sound of my voice saying "lets go", she loves me and supports me in all of my decisions, well maybe not owning a 1:1 Endo but you get the picture, anything that is serious and life changing events.
This is the kind of woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with and if she's not willing to make changes then both of your lives are meant to go separate directions.
I think you are also afraid of meeting someone new, which could be the end of all this. I know 4 years is a alot, I've had gfs for 4, 6, 4, 3 years throughout my life before marrying my wife. It's hard to close a door whenever you won't allow anything new to come in, you have to experience more than this girl otherwise you don't know where your perfect match could be. The one that everything flows with, the one that is basically a perfect fit to the puzzle without all the butting heads in the way.
Pursue the dreams and goals you have at hand and have fun
Now LIVE!!!!!!
Chris, I was worried whenever I saw your FS thread about a special engagement and selling the items in order to fund this... Honestly I believe you know my thoughts about this...
My wife today would move anywhere with me on the sound of my voice saying "lets go", she loves me and supports me in all of my decisions, well maybe not owning a 1:1 Endo but you get the picture, anything that is serious and life changing events.
This is the kind of woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with and if she's not willing to make changes then both of your lives are meant to go separate directions.
I think you are also afraid of meeting someone new, which could be the end of all this. I know 4 years is a alot, I've had gfs for 4, 6, 4, 3 years throughout my life before marrying my wife. It's hard to close a door whenever you won't allow anything new to come in, you have to experience more than this girl otherwise you don't know where your perfect match could be. The one that everything flows with, the one that is basically a perfect fit to the puzzle without all the butting heads in the way.
Pursue the dreams and goals you have at hand and have fun
Now LIVE!!!!!!
jinxx
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
See, that's what I'm talking about right there! That longing and knowing you're about to get some!
Hey, I got hands! And toys....
I know can't wait til next Thursday
See, that's what I'm talking about right there! That longing and knowing you're about to get some!
Hey, I got hands! And toys....
SnakeDoctor
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Haha.
The girl presumably also has hands ... and several other attractions worth visiting several times a week. WooHoo.
SnakeDoc
Hey, I got hands! And toys....
Haha.
The girl presumably also has hands ... and several other attractions worth visiting several times a week. WooHoo.
SnakeDoc
Bamboota
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I'm with everyone on this.
If she can't do sacrifices to be with u...than she's not worth it.
I'm with everyone on this.
If she can't do sacrifices to be with u...than she's not worth it.
Last edited:
King Darkness
Super Freak
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2006
- Messages
- 44,449
- Reaction score
- 208
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Maybe you could chop her up and mail her to CA., then you can be together forever.
Maybe you could chop her up and mail her to CA., then you can be together forever.
FLOSI
Nerf Herder
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I'd relocate for my spouse in a heartbeat.... Relocate away from her, that is.
I'd relocate for my spouse in a heartbeat.... Relocate away from her, that is.
jinxx
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I don't u think you understood the jest. Be that as it may, I don't doubt the powers of my hands. Dem fingers are spirited!
Anyway, here's the thing, Chris. Why would you want to settle down if you're still in school!?
I don't u think you understood the jest. Be that as it may, I don't doubt the powers of my hands. Dem fingers are spirited!
Anyway, here's the thing, Chris. Why would you want to settle down if you're still in school!?
Skiman
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Word
I don't u think you understood the jest. Be that as it may, I don't doubt the powers of my hands. Dem fingers are spirited!
Anyway, here's the thing, Chris. Why would you want to settle down if you're still in school!?
Word
Kabukiman
Greatest Person Ever
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I'm a little surprised by all the "if she can't do this for you then dump her" messages. Relationships are just that, a relationship between two people, it's not a dictatorship. I wonder if there is another internet message board somewhere with Chris' girlfriend asking a similar questions and getting responses like "well he should make this sacrifice for you and stay home, dump him."
Sorry Chris, but this is something that you're going to have to work this out with her. You state your case, she states hers. If you can come to an agreement without somebody feeling like they "gave in", then great. If not, then you need to do what's best for you.
I don't blame you for wanting to stay in San Fran. I get to go once a year, and love it every time.
edit: I just noticed the "another thread" in the original post. Sounds like there is more to the story than what is presented here...
I'm a little surprised by all the "if she can't do this for you then dump her" messages. Relationships are just that, a relationship between two people, it's not a dictatorship. I wonder if there is another internet message board somewhere with Chris' girlfriend asking a similar questions and getting responses like "well he should make this sacrifice for you and stay home, dump him."
Sorry Chris, but this is something that you're going to have to work this out with her. You state your case, she states hers. If you can come to an agreement without somebody feeling like they "gave in", then great. If not, then you need to do what's best for you.
I don't blame you for wanting to stay in San Fran. I get to go once a year, and love it every time.
edit: I just noticed the "another thread" in the original post. Sounds like there is more to the story than what is presented here...
SnakeDoctor
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I agree completely. People can be extremely cavalier with "dump her" advice when the relationship isn't theirs to lose. I wonder how many of the "dump her ass" crowd have actually participated in marriages that lasted very long at all.
Compromise is necessary ... and you cannot expect her to give and you to take every time. If she's worth marrying, she's worth moving to Flordia for ... if not, so be it.
SnakeDoc
I agree completely. People can be extremely cavalier with "dump her" advice when the relationship isn't theirs to lose. I wonder how many of the "dump her ass" crowd have actually participated in marriages that lasted very long at all.
Compromise is necessary ... and you cannot expect her to give and you to take every time. If she's worth marrying, she's worth moving to Flordia for ... if not, so be it.
SnakeDoc
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
If she refuses to move to CA for 6 mos. and give it a fair shot, what does that tell you about her committment to you? How important is the relationship to her? The same is true about you going to FL.
It is your life, your choices. You have to be willing to uphold your end of the bargain and whatever the choice make it for the right reasons. The end result is determined by both your efforts and both your reasons behind the choice.
If she refuses to move to CA for 6 mos. and give it a fair shot, what does that tell you about her committment to you? How important is the relationship to her? The same is true about you going to FL.
It is your life, your choices. You have to be willing to uphold your end of the bargain and whatever the choice make it for the right reasons. The end result is determined by both your efforts and both your reasons behind the choice.
Skiman
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
I think the opposite opinion of the dump her group is caused because of other threads opened by Chris with problem circumstances, so that has swayed my opinion on the situation.
I think the opposite opinion of the dump her group is caused because of other threads opened by Chris with problem circumstances, so that has swayed my opinion on the situation.
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
As always, great advice guys.... Thank you so much for the words.
Listen, I know I may not take the advice given and practice it TO THE TEE but it does give me some direction..... Call me weird, but I've always been interested to hear others people's life experiences and the successful or failing relationships
I'm just always curious to hear what else happens in the world, just so I can compare.....
I know I wrote before about this particular girl, but since then things got really solid. I stopped being wishy washy, and grew up a little. I knew that she had some great qualities that I'd want in a friend, a lover and a wife. However now this poses an ENTIRELY new problem..... I've become MUCH more focused and motivated to pursue something, and my goals really conflict with her goals.
It's funny because I was never curious about LA until her and I attended the last Halloween Horror Nights at Universal in Hollywood. It was my first time in LA and I was totally FLOORED! I instantly fell in love..... I've always loved movies and the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, and now that I got to see it in person I just knew it's where I wanted to be..... And since coming here, I've been the happiest I've been in a LONG LONG time. I love talking to people, I love driving, I love working..... I just love everything right now, and that's a rare thing looking back on my life. And of course I'd like to share that with her, but we're clashing on what we want in life.... I hate to say it, but I haven't even considered giving up ANYTHING since this whole argument came up. I'm focused, I'm determined and I've never felt this way EVER. So I don't want to give it up......
Ski, thanks for the words man.... You've become a HUGE impact on the forum and I see why. You have lots of knowledge and are always eager to help, and I'm really grateful for that
and Mr. Thrifty, you always have some very wise way of looking at things. Thanks for those words too
So as it stands, I'm keeping my position and pursuing my goals..... Unfortunately I can't say where I'm going to be after I graduate, and even IF I WILL graduate. I will feel really stupid if things take a bad turn and I gave up a great girl, but risks are risks right?
As always, great advice guys.... Thank you so much for the words.
Listen, I know I may not take the advice given and practice it TO THE TEE but it does give me some direction..... Call me weird, but I've always been interested to hear others people's life experiences and the successful or failing relationships
I'm just always curious to hear what else happens in the world, just so I can compare.....I know I wrote before about this particular girl, but since then things got really solid. I stopped being wishy washy, and grew up a little. I knew that she had some great qualities that I'd want in a friend, a lover and a wife. However now this poses an ENTIRELY new problem..... I've become MUCH more focused and motivated to pursue something, and my goals really conflict with her goals.
It's funny because I was never curious about LA until her and I attended the last Halloween Horror Nights at Universal in Hollywood. It was my first time in LA and I was totally FLOORED! I instantly fell in love..... I've always loved movies and the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, and now that I got to see it in person I just knew it's where I wanted to be..... And since coming here, I've been the happiest I've been in a LONG LONG time. I love talking to people, I love driving, I love working..... I just love everything right now, and that's a rare thing looking back on my life. And of course I'd like to share that with her, but we're clashing on what we want in life.... I hate to say it, but I haven't even considered giving up ANYTHING since this whole argument came up. I'm focused, I'm determined and I've never felt this way EVER. So I don't want to give it up......
Ski, thanks for the words man.... You've become a HUGE impact on the forum and I see why. You have lots of knowledge and are always eager to help, and I'm really grateful for that
and Mr. Thrifty, you always have some very wise way of looking at things. Thanks for those words too So as it stands, I'm keeping my position and pursuing my goals..... Unfortunately I can't say where I'm going to be after I graduate, and even IF I WILL graduate. I will feel really stupid if things take a bad turn and I gave up a great girl, but risks are risks right?
The ill Jedi
ILLest of 'em all!!
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Chris, there are plenty of beautiful women here in L.A., as I'm sure you have already witnessed for yourself. You seem to have a clear picture of the goals you want to achieve and I feel that this girl will only hold you back. BTW, welcome to L.A.! 
Chris, there are plenty of beautiful women here in L.A., as I'm sure you have already witnessed for yourself. You seem to have a clear picture of the goals you want to achieve and I feel that this girl will only hold you back. BTW, welcome to L.A.!
Something Sexy
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
Listen to dis man, sometimes he is right!
I change my vote and want to vote for this option!
Chris, I was worried whenever I saw your FS thread about a special engagement and selling the items in order to fund this... Honestly I believe you know my thoughts about this...
My wife today would move anywhere with me on the sound of my voice saying "lets go", she loves me and supports me in all of my decisions, well maybe not owning a 1:1 Endo but you get the picture, anything that is serious and life changing events.
This is the kind of woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with and if she's not willing to make changes then both of your lives are meant to go separate directions.
I think you are also afraid of meeting someone new, which could be the end of all this. I know 4 years is a alot, I've had gfs for 4, 6, 4, 3 years throughout my life before marrying my wife. It's hard to close a door whenever you won't allow anything new to come in, you have to experience more than this girl otherwise you don't know where your perfect match could be. The one that everything flows with, the one that is basically a perfect fit to the puzzle without all the butting heads in the way.
Pursue the dreams and goals you have at hand and have fun
Now LIVE!!!!!!
Listen to dis man, sometimes he is right!
I change my vote and want to vote for this option!
Skiman
Super Freak
Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?
and I would party the nights away with ^^ guy until you find her.
:chew 
more :chew
and a few
Chris, there are plenty of beautiful women here in L.A., as I'm sure you have already witnessed for yourself. You seem to have a clear picture of the goals you want to achieve and I feel that this girl will only hold you back. BTW, welcome to L.A.!
and I would party the nights away with ^^ guy until you find her.
:chew more :chew and a few 
