38 Reasons Why Iron Man is Cooler than Darth Vader

Found this made me chuckle especially number 20...



Both Tony Stark and Anakin Skywalker took to a suit of armor to live. Both came around to becoming heroes. And both are at the center of a massive franchise. But Darth Vader falls short in almost every other way.

1. It didn't take six movies for Iron Man to kill his evil mentor
2. Iron Man's got way better luck with the ladies
3. Iron Man's armor, you know, does stuff.
4. Black Sabbath
5. Iron Man has never had a kinda-racist CG sidekick
6. Tony Stark eats fast food.
7. Darth Vader has never used a foursome as a cover for heroic derring do.
8. Iron Man has Paul Bettany whispering into his ear. Darth Vader's just got a chorus of dead younglings.
9. Crazy facial hair.
10. Superheroic guinea tee.
11. Tony Stark has a chauffeur. Vader's gotta fly his own TIE fighter.
12. Doesn't breathe funny.
13. Tony's better-looking than Vader, he's a better dresser than Vader, he had more hair, he told funnier jokes, and he could dance the pants off of Vader!
14. Doesn't remind you of barbecue.
15. Tony Stark is not a tool of the government.
16. Tony Stark can build his own armor, thankyouverymuch.
17. Tony's parental issues are paternal. Like a man. He's not a momma's boy.
18. Oh, and Tony is not the result of some bull____ space-bacteria-related immaculate conception.
19. Capes suck.
20. If you push the buttons on Iron Man's suit, you'll probably die. If you push the buttons on Darth Vader's suit, he'll probably die.
21. Tony surrounds himself with assistants like Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlet Johansson. Darth's got Admiral Piett and IG-88.
22. Darth's spaceship has a big barometric-chamber sphere for him to rest in. Tony's private jet has a stripper pole. And strippers.
23. Someday, a woman will be Iron Man's downfall. But it won't be because she's a dutiful wife and expectant mother.
24. "Noooooooooooooo!"
25. Sam Jackson hasn't tried to kill Tony Stark. Yet.
26. Vader's finest forces got their asses kicked by stuffed animals. That always bears repeating.
27. Tony Stark's best friend is a suave black dude. Vader's best friend is a craggly bald dude.
28. Tony's got a number of suits of armor. Vader's only got the one...which, let's be honest, probably smells a bit.
29. When Tony's done with a suit of armor, he shares it with his friends. Rolling with Tony is profitable.
30. Tony can make it rain, _____es.
31. Tony Stark doesn't "swan."
32. When Tony designs an artificial intelligence, it's not annoying as ____. That's right, C-3PO, I'm talking about you.
33. Iron Man can fly. At best, Vader simply falls with style.
34. AC/DC
35. Tony Stark drinks. To excess, sure, but he's a fun drunk.
36. Tony has a thing for redheads. Which is never a bad thing. Darth Vader has a thing for...um...well...genocide?
37. Iron Man's boots shoot nuclear fire. NUCLEAR FIRE!
38. Darth Vader has a pink lightsaber. Oh, he'd have you think it's red. But it's pink.

Thanks to Mike Avila, Adam Freeman, and Meredith Woerner

Thats awesome

22. Darth's spaceship has a big barometric-chamber sphere for him to rest in. Tony's private jet has a stripper pole. And strippers.


for no other reason posted this is all kinds of win............

39. Tony Stark wasn't a whiney b***h when he was a teenager.

40. Tony Stark has a life outside being Iron Man.. Darth Vader sulks & whimpers at Death Star 24/7!

That was awesome.

Most of that list is stupid. I like this one though.

32. When Tony designs an artificial intelligence, it's not annoying as ____. That's right, C-3PO, I'm talking about you.

most of it is kinda meh

but this was funny

19. Capes suck.

Some good stuff

My favorite:

20. If you push the buttons on Iron Man's suit, you'll probably die. If you push the buttons on Darth Vader's suit, he'll probably die.

When Darth Vader says he can kill you with 2 fingers he means it. And he can do it through a hologram.
Darth Vader had sex with Natalie Portman.
Darth Vader killed Sam Jackson.
After Darth Vader kills you with his fingers, he'll go after your kids.
Darth Vader has no problem killing kids, and almost killed one of his own.
Darth Vader survived being cut in half...and survives without his mansaber.
Darth Vader's pink lightsaber makes you explode into a puff of smoke when he cuts you.

hairlesswookiee said:

When Darth Vader says he can kill you with 2 fingers he means it. And he can do it through a hologram.
Darth Vader had sex with Natalie Portman.
Darth Vader killed Sam Jackson.
After Darth Vader kills you with his fingers, he'll go after your kids.
Darth Vader has no problem killing kids, and almost killed one of his own.
Darth Vader survived being cut in half...and survives without his mansaber.
Darth Vader's pink lightsaber makes you explode into a puff of smoke when he cuts you.

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Granted most of these things only make him cool amongst homicidal maniacs

Counterpoint is well done except for a few points.

-Vader didn't kill Sam Jackson he cut off his hand, how do we know? It was the hand that said "BadMother____er" on it.
-Vader didn't survive getting cut in half, he survived getting his arm and legs cut off after he tried to flip over someone on higher ground. Not exactly his intelligence shining moment.
-Vader survives without his mansaber but Tony uses his over and over with Maxim cover models, including twins!
-Vader after being the chosen one turns out to be a lapdog. Tony after chosing one turns them over in doggystyle.

The Mike said:

-Vader survives without his mansaber but Tony uses his over and over with Maxim cover models, including twins!
-Vader after being the chosen one turns out to be a lapdog. Tony after chosing one turns them over in doggystyle.

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Top reason Vader is Cooler than Iron Man?????????


Midichlorians baby! Midichlorians!!!

Most people didn't know Iron Man even existed until 2008.

FQRizzo said:

Most people didn't know Iron Man even existed until 2008.

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Meh, Indiana Jones is way cooler than both.

Darth vader and Iron man dont stand a chance against Chuck norris

Chris

Atheris666 said:

Darth vader and Iron man dont stand a chance against Chuck norris

Chris

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We all know that.

Darth Vader's father is God. Its in the Bible.

hairlesswookiee said:

When Darth Vader says he can kill you with 2 fingers he means it. And he can do it through a hologram.
Darth Vader had sex with Natalie Portman.
Darth Vader killed Sam Jackson.
After Darth Vader kills you with his fingers, he'll go after your kids.
Darth Vader has no problem killing kids, and almost killed one of his own.
Darth Vader survived being cut in half...and survives without his mansaber.
Darth Vader's pink lightsaber makes you explode into a puff of smoke when he cuts you.

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Don't know how this makes Vader cool but OK.