lerath666
Super Freak
GI Joe : Risoe of cobra. An honest Review from the Perspective of a "fanboy"
Spoiler Alert: There be spoilers ahead. Ye have been warned.
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So, I just got back from watching the film we've all been decrying for the past Year or so. And I've got mixed feelings about it. On one hand, parts were very good, on the other, parts were bad. So here's a breakdown.
First: the Bad
The baroness. Her history feels poorly written. She's the Ex-fiencee of duke who feel into depression when duke "lets" her brother die in combat. Her brother, however does not die, instead he and doctor mindbender escape the conflict, and Doctor mindbender teaches him everything he knows about nano machines. Her brother then kidnaps her, and uses nanomachines to make her "go bad". In addition, she is Married to the Baron DeCobray who appearently lives in Paris.
The one-liners:
The cheasy one-liners are few and far between, making reverence to the toys here and there. they are silly, , and intended to be so, but instead come across cringe-worthy, and more than a little silly. In addition, you can tell the actors have trouble delivering the lines.
The action:
Reviewers are not kidding when they said the film was action-packed. IMO it's a little TOO action packed. Every BAttle FEELS like it's the Climatic battle at the end of the film. Even those at the very begenning
"borrowed ideas"
The movie, at points feels like it's trying to be Transfoermers, Transformers revenge of the fallen, Mission impossible, and Iron Man, all at varying points, and in some cases feels like the director used a copy of each film as a storyboard.
Speakin of Revenge of the fallen, the interaction between Duke and ripchord Made me think of Mudflap and skids from ROTF 90% of the time. This is also a BAD thing.
The costumes.
The Black leather bodysuits with silver "plastyicky" armor would look more athome on someone racing Dirtbikes than a " Elite, highly-trained special mission force". It is worth mentioning that the "kids pajama Fatigues" don't look that bad however.
Now hat that's out of the way.
The good.
The story :
Desipte earlier decries, the Core IDEA and the main story itself, Bad puns, and one-liners aside, is actualy Very good, and true to the source material. I have no problem beleiving the Nanomachine Plot would fit just fine into the Established Hamma comics, the 80's cartoon, or even the new comic being currently published By IDW. I've got to give them that one. Good job.
Zartan
He's only on the screen/ in the movie minimaly, and even with the starnge actor choice, this guy was great. Happily whisteling "the bear goes over the mountian" as he kills people and takes their clothing, fading into the background. He allmost stole the show for me, and even Eventualy ends up with the ability to alter his eyecolor, hair color, skin pigments, AND FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE to lok like anyone he wants thanks to the doctors Nanomachines.
Zartan REALLY made the show for me.
The effects:
While in somecases REALLY overdone, and over used, they were, for the most part REALY REALLY well done.
Overall the movie felt like a See-saw. Going from high point, to low point, to high point, back and forth. It was, QUITE entertaining. Every time i started to consider walking out, something that made me want to stay appeared on-screen.
2.5-3 stars at best. Not a summer blockbuster, but not the worst movie ever made either.
Spoiler Alert: There be spoilers ahead. Ye have been warned.
..............
.
.
.
...
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So, I just got back from watching the film we've all been decrying for the past Year or so. And I've got mixed feelings about it. On one hand, parts were very good, on the other, parts were bad. So here's a breakdown.
First: the Bad
The baroness. Her history feels poorly written. She's the Ex-fiencee of duke who feel into depression when duke "lets" her brother die in combat. Her brother, however does not die, instead he and doctor mindbender escape the conflict, and Doctor mindbender teaches him everything he knows about nano machines. Her brother then kidnaps her, and uses nanomachines to make her "go bad". In addition, she is Married to the Baron DeCobray who appearently lives in Paris.
The one-liners:
The cheasy one-liners are few and far between, making reverence to the toys here and there. they are silly, , and intended to be so, but instead come across cringe-worthy, and more than a little silly. In addition, you can tell the actors have trouble delivering the lines.
The action:
Reviewers are not kidding when they said the film was action-packed. IMO it's a little TOO action packed. Every BAttle FEELS like it's the Climatic battle at the end of the film. Even those at the very begenning
"borrowed ideas"
The movie, at points feels like it's trying to be Transfoermers, Transformers revenge of the fallen, Mission impossible, and Iron Man, all at varying points, and in some cases feels like the director used a copy of each film as a storyboard.
Speakin of Revenge of the fallen, the interaction between Duke and ripchord Made me think of Mudflap and skids from ROTF 90% of the time. This is also a BAD thing.
The costumes.
The Black leather bodysuits with silver "plastyicky" armor would look more athome on someone racing Dirtbikes than a " Elite, highly-trained special mission force". It is worth mentioning that the "kids pajama Fatigues" don't look that bad however.
Now hat that's out of the way.
The good.
The story :
Desipte earlier decries, the Core IDEA and the main story itself, Bad puns, and one-liners aside, is actualy Very good, and true to the source material. I have no problem beleiving the Nanomachine Plot would fit just fine into the Established Hamma comics, the 80's cartoon, or even the new comic being currently published By IDW. I've got to give them that one. Good job.
Zartan
He's only on the screen/ in the movie minimaly, and even with the starnge actor choice, this guy was great. Happily whisteling "the bear goes over the mountian" as he kills people and takes their clothing, fading into the background. He allmost stole the show for me, and even Eventualy ends up with the ability to alter his eyecolor, hair color, skin pigments, AND FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE to lok like anyone he wants thanks to the doctors Nanomachines.
Zartan REALLY made the show for me.
The effects:
While in somecases REALLY overdone, and over used, they were, for the most part REALY REALLY well done.
Overall the movie felt like a See-saw. Going from high point, to low point, to high point, back and forth. It was, QUITE entertaining. Every time i started to consider walking out, something that made me want to stay appeared on-screen.
2.5-3 stars at best. Not a summer blockbuster, but not the worst movie ever made either.
Last edited:
). I'll post my thoughts forthwith--
Spoiler: 
