First G.I. JUNK Test-Screening Reaction

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IrishJedi

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From Slashfilm:

“As far as Sommers’ being ^^^^-canned, I wouldn’t be surprised after seeing the rough cut; it’s not exactly on par with the Paramount/summer blockbuster standard established with Iron Man, Transformers, and Star Trek. Quite frankly, I’d be embarrassed to have Transformers 2 be released, G.I. Joe two weeks later, and both with the Paramount Mountain opening up the credits. I hope you find something interesting to pull out of this, I don’t exactly write reviews and tried not to spoil too much…

As far as summer blockbusters go, you could say I’m a aficionado of the kind. Although I’m well-read in the history of film and seek out indies, oscar fare, and of the such, blockbusters are where my heart’s at. I loved Star Trek; I saw it 3 times, I think it’s magical, I think it has that special something that blockbusters rarely hit (although I do think Iron Man and Transformers found it last summer). I thought Wolverine lacked a well thought out narrative and it might have been fun but I couldn’t get past the mess of character organization and lack of direction from one action to another. But I’d watch it again. And Terminator Salvation I didn’t find nearly half as bad as everyone else; I can acknowledge the criticism it received but I really enjoyed it, nothing I can really rave about but it entertained me enough that I wasn’t able to pay attention to the flaws.

The thing with G.I. Joe is that it tries to have the same spirit and flavor as Transformers–it’s really evident… but an ultimate failure. And people can talk ^^^^ about Michael Bay until the cows come home but when you watch something like G.I. Joe it does go to show the talent, craft, and attention to quality Bay can bring to an otherwise silly idea.

The movie has extremely cartoonish and, at times, theatrically silly aspects; for example, over-the-top characters, endless one liners, and visually farfetched technology and set pieces. However, it tries fiercely to ground itself in reality and in society’s current global climate. It’s with that grounding that the movie actually redeems itself quite a bit–but not too much. The G.I. Joes–as an organization–veer off from the hyper Americana reputation that it’s known for; G.I. Joe is a top secret branch of NATO that recruits members from all over the world. Within that aspect, a handful of somewhat interesting ideas are produced that could interpret somewhat interesting commentaries of our world as a global community… The only thing I got out of it was a debate with the person I went to the screening with about the state of government and the world; but not exactly tied with the movie. Really though, it’s not worth the brain stretch as essentially the movie’s purpose is to sell toys (and I’m guessing it will as many characters have different costumes throughout the film, along with various vehicles).

As far as the story goes, there’s not much to be told. G.I. Joe clings to dear live on a MacGuffin of a suitcase containing warheads filled with self-replicating, destructive nano-bots, which continuously shifts ownership between the G.I. Joes and the soon to be Cobra Command. And that’s the story, “who’s got the nano-bot warheads?” And that starts immediately as the film begins, right after a 1700’s(?) era backstory explaining James McCullen Destro XXIV / Destro; we’ve all seen this before (Wolverine) and it does little but two things–jack and ^^^^.

Anyways, even though the CG was incomplete in my screening, the action in pretty great. The chase scene with Tatum and Wayans in the Iron Man suits is particularly well done. But rest assured as I’ve noticed a fear online that those suits play a big role; they don’t, they’re used in that scene and that scene only. Basically the biggest drain on this picture is the acting; even Dennis Quaid is cringe-worthy. But the worst has to be Sienna Miller—do not be surprised if anyone (or everyone) in the cast get’s Razzie noms. But with Miller’s character, she wears sunglasses half the movie, delivers normal lines as if they’re one liners, and just cheeses everything up. Snake Eyes may be the best part of the movie (not because he doesn’t have any lines, that’s only a coincidence) as whenever he’s onscreen, he’s doing something interesting.

Really, I don’t know how half the ^^^^ (lines delivered) made it to the editing room. Cobra Commander (or “The Doctor” as he’s known the entire movie) may be the most laughable part of the movie. I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt but I’ll be god damned if this character isn’t the most ridiculous thing to come out since Lord Zedd of Power Rangers fame and (spoiler follows, highlight the invisotext to reveal) doesn’t actually become Cobra Commander (with the full-head mask) until the last five minutes.

All in all, it’ll be interesting to see how this movie reacts with audiences because it is a high quality production but the talent involved doesn’t match up, and the “toys” aren’t exactly believable.

There were laughs (some at jokes, some at sight gags, and of course at the expense of Snake Eye’s silence), a few cringes from older audience members (like I said before, the one-liners don’t stop), and a general engagement (but not really any type of energy or excited in the air). When the picture ended, there wasn’t really any chatter about the movie. We were given surveys questioning the film in great detail but most people just flew through them and left. It was a so-so experience from the audience perspective. There wasn’t much excitement from the audience afterward.”

No surprise. It blows.
 
I expect it will be painful but I'm still gonna go see it. It will be like driving by a car accident.
 
Just make sure you actually purchase the tickets for a different movie! :lecture

I don't know if this is such a good idea. The other big movie releasing that week is "Julie and Julia." You might convince Hollywood that they should immediately greenlight a crap ton of Nora Ephron projects. "You've Got Mail 2" anyone? :lol
 
Just read this piece of the review:

The movie has extremely cartoonish and, at times, theatrically silly aspects; for example, over-the-top characters, endless one liners, and visually farfetched technology and set pieces. However, it tries fiercely to ground itself in reality. Really though, it’s not worth the brain stretch as essentially the movie’s purpose is to sell toys (and I’m guessing it will as many characters have different costumes throughout the film, along with various vehicles).

Doesn't it remind you of this:

batmanandrobin.jpg


I knew the film was going to blow. It received so much negative press that how could it not....but I was kind of hoping for a Wolverine/Terminator effect where diehards hated it but it was generally an alright movie. I hated Wolverine like a lot of people but I loved Terminator despite its flaws.....reading this review though doesn't leave me really all that psyched. I almost want to see it because something so praised as being so bad peaks my interest but I won't be paying for it. I'll give my $10.00 to Transformers again, so Paramount gets a bit and sneak into this. I have a feeling it won't be that difficult...
 
I don't know if this is such a good idea. The other big movie releasing that week is "Julie and Julia." You might convince Hollywood that they should immediately greenlight a crap ton of Nora Ephron projects. "You've Got Mail 2" anyone? :lol

There will be several other movies you can buy tickets for.
 
I am not even going to bother paying for another movie and going to see this. I rather not waste an hour and a half of my life or however long this pile of Junk will be. Just skip it and pretend it never happened.
 
Hey who was that person that got banned awhile back who was arguing with everyone that this movie was going to kick all kinds of ass? :lol :lol

You know darn well who it is... you just don't want to utter his/her/his name. :lol
 
Yes, it actually was. :lol

And "she" had the hots for Dennis Quaid as Hawk. :google

:lol :lol :lol :lol Well, I might rent this movie....maybe. Well I did watch The Spirit after horrible reviews and that movie sucked so much ass...so who knows...this might wind up somewhere in my Netflix queue.
 
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