What to do when family is criticizing your collecting hobby?

Lately, my mom and brothers have been getting on my case about my collection.

I'm fairly new to this hobby (I started about a year and a half ago) when I picked up my first collectible (Hot Toys Berserker Predator) on impulse at a comic shop. I don't normally treat myself to anything but at the time I thought it was amazing and I always loved Predators so I just said screw it and bought it. After opening it and seeing first hand how incredible it was, I guess you could say the Hot Toys/collecting bug bit me. I slowly accumulated more and expanded to NECA/Bandai products.

Now I currently have a sizable collection displayed in my room. I absolutely love it and enjoy everything I have, but my family members think less of it...

My mom specifically thinks I'm wasting money when I should be saving that money to move out. And that's exactly what I have been doing since graduating college. I've saved up a ton of money, I have a retirement account, and would consider myself financially responsible. I think I've spent around $5,000 on collectibles since I started.

I do agree that money would be useful for contributing to me buying a house, but I also believe you should spend money on that which makes you happy; which this hobby certainly does. In addition to money, my mom thinks I'm becoming more childish with these toys instead of going out and being more social. I admit I'm not the most sociable guy but I definitely do have a social life and go out when I can. Since it's winter now, I go out a lot less. She also thinks no girls will like me once they see my collection.

Basically her words have been putting me down and kinda make me want to stop collecting...

Anyone can share their thoughts on this matter?

EDIT: The way I described my mom's advice, may have come across as harsh. I know she means well in what's she saying and I respect her. She's a great mom.

No offense, but if someone were riding my *** like that, I'd save every penny I make to move out.

Your main focus should be moving out, getting your own place and eventually a relationship. I'd keep what you have now, displayed the way it is and gradually work towards your long term goals. As long as you live under your mothers roof she can say what she wants. Plus you should always respect your mother even if she comes off as insulting.

I would also maybe put a hold on your collection purchases and start moving forward again on saving money to get your own place.

I can kind of understand your mom's concern - spending $5,000 in 1 1/2 years is a big chunk of money. Don't let this hobby become an obsession or you may be stuck living at your parent's home for a long time.

It's your life. Since you are an adult I reckon no one else here is gonna be able to give you better advice than you can give yourself, understanding your situation. If your mom's words hurt because they contain hard truths, then maybe your situation would be better served by selling stuff and focusing on moving out or whatever. On the other hand, maybe she is off base. I do agree with ObsoleteMan though. Having said that, I moved back with my parents for about 6 months after I first graduated and I couldn't move out fast enough. Maybe she would be less inclined to criticize your collection if you weren't living under her roof, with all that entails.

TheObsoleteMan said:

No offense, but if someone were riding my *** like that, I'd save every penny I make to move out.

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None taken. I guess I should rephrase wait I said. My mom means well in what she's saying and she's a great mother. I do plan to move out this year. I've basically been "milking" staying at home for as long as I can because I know once I move out, I will have to pay for everything that comes standard with living on your own. So I've been trying to save up as much as I can to accommodate that. This collecting thing has put a little dent on that which is where my dilemma chimes in.

There's also the finding a new job part. I want to move to Florida but I would have to find a new job there first which is a little tricky...especially today.

I've put in over $15,000 into my collection. Having a collection never stopped me from being with women. lol. However I do have a house and my collection stays in one room. Maybe you want to think about getting your own place. Once you do that it'll be nobodies business what you do.

How much is your mother and brothers insured for . . .

Wake said:

I've put in over $15,000 into my collection. Having a collection never stopped me from being with women. lol. However I do have a house and my collection stays in one room. Maybe you want to think about getting your own place. Once you do that it'll be nobodies business what you do.

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Yeah, if a woman judges me based on a collection/hobby of mine, then she isn't worth my time.

And that's exactly what I plan to do. I've always had a plan in the back of my mind to make a "man cave/collecting room" once I have my own house. It would seem more appropriate too instead of having everything in my room making it look like a kids room.

Voorhees27 said:

Your main focus should be moving out, getting your own place and eventually a relationship. I'd keep what you have now, displayed the way it is and gradually work towards your long term goals. As long as you live under your mothers roof she can say what she wants. Plus you should always respect your mother even if she comes off as insulting.

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Jen said:

I would also maybe put a hold on your collection purchases and start moving forward again on saving money to get your own place.

I can kind of understand your mom's concern - spending $5,000 in 1 1/2 years is a big chunk of money. Don't let this hobby become an obsession or you may be stuck living at your parent's home for a long time.

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I think this is the best advice. I really wouldn't want to sell my stuff as I genuinely love it (just as we all do) but I think I may stop for now and focus my efforts more heavily into moving out.

I might give you a hard time too if you were living on my dime and spending buckets of cash on toys.

I do agree that money would be useful for contributing to me buying a house, but I also believe you should spend money on that which makes you happy

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Spend money on that which makes you independent first. Move out. When you're standing on your own two feet, under a roof you paid for, eating food you own ... then spend the money you earn on crap you don't need, and don't apologize to anybody.

Your mom is right. Your priorities are backward. Pay your own way before you waste money. You're leeching off your mom to feed your toy habit. Not good.

SnakeDoc

Thanks for the advice everyone. Much appreciated and I think a much needed wake up call to be honest. I've become too comfortable in the current situation I'm in and have lost track of what really matters to some degree.

But I will say that I haven't spent ALL my money on this hobby obviously. Most of it still has been going towards my future goals -- it's just taken a slight detour.

I live away from my family and they still get on my back about my hobby

I agree with most here saying that moving out should be your first priority. Once you have a place of your own and the means to support yourself, then you can go wild on high end collectibles.

It's one thing if you're buying CDs or books, but it's quite another to drop $200 per action figure, and tally up 5 grand in under two years. You're treading on freeloader territory, IMO.

Look at it is way: if you had a friend crashing at your place for a bit while he was trying to get back on his feet, but all he would do is mooch off your food and spend what money he did have on booze and cigarettes, youd be a little concerned too.

Yup. Save the money to move out. Then your place is your own to do whatever the hell you would like with it.

pixletwin said:

Yup. Save the money to move out. Then your place is your own to do whatever the hell you would like with it.

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Exactly. I'm glad I made this thread as it really has pointed me back in the right direction. Sometimes we need to hear advice from OTHER people out there. I really did lose track of my priorities over the past year. Here's to an amazing 2013

I think you have a good head on your shoulder. Focus on getting out of that house and find your own place. I'm assuming you already have a job since that's not something that you had mentioned being a factor in your collecting issues. With that set, find a place and set that as your primary goal.

At the end of the day, eventhough I have my own place, work hard for my money, drive a nice car, have a beautiful girlfriend, I STILL feel guilty sometimes for spending money on collectibles. It's a luxury. We don't need it. Sometimes i wonder if I'd be better served to never have gotten into 1/6 at all. Just my thought.

2ndname said:

I think you have a good head on your shoulder. Focus on getting out of that house and find your own place. I'm assuming you already have a job since that's not something that you had mentioned being a factor in your collecting issues. With that set, find a place and set that as your primary goal.

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Thanks. And yes I do have a job. I would have never gotten into this hobby if I knew I couldn't afford it. (Living at home right now has certainly enabled me to collect comfortably as I don't have many extraneous expenses aside from insurances).

The issue for me now is WHERE do I want to move. I have a job in NY, but I've been thinking of moving to Florida for a change in scenery/weather and also the fact that living is much cheaper there than in NY. I also think I will buy a house that I can also rent out, to help cover the mortgage.

I got supportive family, as long as it doesn't turn into hoarding, and spendings are justifiable. Make my own money to pay for my own hobby.

I feel that if it's all contained in your own room or place, then it's fine. but if you're hoarding your parents' house with figures...you should think of moving out before spending anymore money on toys.