DannieDarKo
Destined Tragic Soul
In light of recent events surrounding three highly limited and highly grey items, we at Sideshow Collectibles have designed a fool proof plan in order for “true collectors” to not miss out on a product. We would like you to take the time to fill out this questionnaire. If you pass and are deemed a worthy “true collector” by Sideshow collectibles, never again shall you have to log on on priority preordering day. No longer will you have to be subject to the horrifying emotional stress that missing out on a desired collectible causes. You will automatically have your order placed by the Sideshow staff and being the selfless true collector that you are will then have the choice to keep the item or cancel it. If you cancel you will also have the option of passing on your order to someone who you may feel is worthy. We will also have highly limited “true collectors” only exclusives that will have an edition size based on the amount of people who successfully pass the “true collectors” test. Now enough with the detail and on with the questionnaire.
1.Do you feel you are a true collector?
2. Have you ever bought or sold something for more than retail price?
3. Have you ever paid less than wholesale cost for an item?
4. Do you hate Gay Dolphins?
5. Do you believe if there were no scalpers we would have peace in the Middle East?
6. Do you believe if there were no scalpers, Jesus would be alive today?
7. Seriously do you hate Gay Dolphins?
8. Do you believe that no matter how bad a likeness Sideshow creates of a particular actor, you will never say in public that it is a bad likeness, and will instead offer up the excuse that it captures the “essence of the character.”
9. Do you believe it is okay to sell highly limited items to the general public?
10. Are any of your family members “true collectors.”(This question has no right or wrong answer and is for other purposes that will be explained upon completion of the questionnaire.)
11. Do you believe it is okay to let everyone know how great of a person you are because you are a “true collector” and how horrible someone is if they succumb to the evil practice of Homosexual Dolphinism.
12.Do you believe AIDS is a gay Dolphin disease.
13.Whenever you see someone selling an item on ebay for over retail, do you inform other true collectors to stay away from this person, because they are a scalper, or the more commonly used phrase “gay Dolphin.”
14. When you go to sleep at night, do you thank the good Lord for putting you on this earth with the knowledge that you are a “true collector” and thus are better than 99% of the general population.
15. Have you killed at least 1 Gay Dolphin in your lifetime.
Well, that is the end of the questionnaire. Here are the correct answers:
1.Yes. Every “true collector” knows they are one. It’s instinctual.
2.Of course not. That would be Gay.
3. Hell no. Sideshow approved retailers can’t lose money. You would only be hurting other “true collectors” because you have to be a Sideshow Certified True Collector to be a retailer from now on.
4.Yes. The Gay Dolphin lifestyle is abhorrent.
5.Yes. Happy collectors are happy people. Plus everyone knows Gay Dolphins are responsible for all wars. Just ask Mel Gibson.
6. Yes. It is a well known fact that Gay Dolphins crucified Jesus. It says so in the Sideshow Limited Edition Bible signed by the first “true collector” Jesus himself.
7.You can never be too careful.
8. Yes. You cannot give the appearance that Sideshow is weak.
9.This is a tricky one, but yes is acceptable, but only after “true collectors” and those that “true collectors” deem worthy have had there shot. Anything left, Gay Dolphins can fight and hopefully kill each other over.
10. This question is for “true collector” quality control purposes. If one of your family members is a Sideshow Certified “true collector” and you fail this test, then they will have their “true collector” status revoked for not being able to properly show their family members the light. Also, henceforth that family member will be considered a Gay Dolphin.
11.Shout it loud and shout it proud.
12. Everyone knows that AIDS started with Gay Dolphins. Luckily “true collectors” are immune to the disease.
13. Yes. If you are found to have seen this kind of behavior and let it go unreported you will lose “true collector” status.
14. Yes. Every “true collector knows in their heart that they are one of God’s chosen few.
15.It is okay to have answered no, but you must kill at least one Gay Dolphin within 30 days of being granted “true collector” status or that status will be revoked.
We know not everyone can pass but if you are one of the lucky few that answered every question correctly, you will be granted “true collector” status shortly and a whole new world of possibilities will be opened up to you.
Sincerely,
The Sideshow
Collectibles Team
1.Do you feel you are a true collector?
2. Have you ever bought or sold something for more than retail price?
3. Have you ever paid less than wholesale cost for an item?
4. Do you hate Gay Dolphins?
5. Do you believe if there were no scalpers we would have peace in the Middle East?
6. Do you believe if there were no scalpers, Jesus would be alive today?
7. Seriously do you hate Gay Dolphins?
8. Do you believe that no matter how bad a likeness Sideshow creates of a particular actor, you will never say in public that it is a bad likeness, and will instead offer up the excuse that it captures the “essence of the character.”
9. Do you believe it is okay to sell highly limited items to the general public?
10. Are any of your family members “true collectors.”(This question has no right or wrong answer and is for other purposes that will be explained upon completion of the questionnaire.)
11. Do you believe it is okay to let everyone know how great of a person you are because you are a “true collector” and how horrible someone is if they succumb to the evil practice of Homosexual Dolphinism.
12.Do you believe AIDS is a gay Dolphin disease.
13.Whenever you see someone selling an item on ebay for over retail, do you inform other true collectors to stay away from this person, because they are a scalper, or the more commonly used phrase “gay Dolphin.”
14. When you go to sleep at night, do you thank the good Lord for putting you on this earth with the knowledge that you are a “true collector” and thus are better than 99% of the general population.
15. Have you killed at least 1 Gay Dolphin in your lifetime.
Well, that is the end of the questionnaire. Here are the correct answers:
1.Yes. Every “true collector” knows they are one. It’s instinctual.
2.Of course not. That would be Gay.
3. Hell no. Sideshow approved retailers can’t lose money. You would only be hurting other “true collectors” because you have to be a Sideshow Certified True Collector to be a retailer from now on.
4.Yes. The Gay Dolphin lifestyle is abhorrent.
5.Yes. Happy collectors are happy people. Plus everyone knows Gay Dolphins are responsible for all wars. Just ask Mel Gibson.
6. Yes. It is a well known fact that Gay Dolphins crucified Jesus. It says so in the Sideshow Limited Edition Bible signed by the first “true collector” Jesus himself.
7.You can never be too careful.
8. Yes. You cannot give the appearance that Sideshow is weak.
9.This is a tricky one, but yes is acceptable, but only after “true collectors” and those that “true collectors” deem worthy have had there shot. Anything left, Gay Dolphins can fight and hopefully kill each other over.
10. This question is for “true collector” quality control purposes. If one of your family members is a Sideshow Certified “true collector” and you fail this test, then they will have their “true collector” status revoked for not being able to properly show their family members the light. Also, henceforth that family member will be considered a Gay Dolphin.
11.Shout it loud and shout it proud.
12. Everyone knows that AIDS started with Gay Dolphins. Luckily “true collectors” are immune to the disease.
13. Yes. If you are found to have seen this kind of behavior and let it go unreported you will lose “true collector” status.
14. Yes. Every “true collector knows in their heart that they are one of God’s chosen few.
15.It is okay to have answered no, but you must kill at least one Gay Dolphin within 30 days of being granted “true collector” status or that status will be revoked.
We know not everyone can pass but if you are one of the lucky few that answered every question correctly, you will be granted “true collector” status shortly and a whole new world of possibilities will be opened up to you.
Sincerely,
The Sideshow
Collectibles Team
